This week, news feed FB dipenuhi dengan kisah suami curang. Oleh kerana aku takde suami, aku pun agak malas nak layan benda2 viral and takde efek kat kehidupan aku. Somehow, aku terjebak jugak lepas terbaca article kat blog ni. Tambah pulak dengan colleague yang tetiba open up to me about same situation. Husband dia pun curang.
I was like, "Viral kat FB efek dia sampai ke real life ke?" Tapi bila fikir balik, apa yang diviralkan dekat FB tu adalah true story. Real life situation. Its no surprise kalau kita pun pernah dalam situasi yang sama or much worse.
As for me, aku pun pernah alami benda ni. He was seeking solace elsewhere and when I caught up with his antics, he blamed me. Sama la macam Suami Mah tu. Dia yang curang kemudian dia salahkan isteri dia tak jaga badan pulak. Memang psycho lelaki yg justify his wrongs by pushing the blame tapi since I had first hand experience, I know for a fact that this is men's natural defence mechanism.Macam automatic reflex pulak aku rasa. Kalau bini ko tangkap ko curang, ko salahkan dia balik. Suami Mah punya blame shifting memang extreme la bagi aku.
Typical typical men.
The question that comes to mind is, whose fault is it when shit like this happened?
My humble opinion is both are at fault. Its true that trust is fundamental in a relationship but before trust, there should be honesty. How to determined honesty? Through communication. When you are with someone you loved, you should be able to communicate openly, be vulnerable, share everything with your partner.
If you can't do that, you have a problem. Most of the time, we can see the signs, but sometimes, we refused to believe the signs because you love your partner so much. You refused to believe that they could do something so unspeakable. Then you just let him continue with what makes them happy to avoid further conflict.We are to be blame also.
Bagi aku, dalam relationship kita memang akan face this type of shit but takde manual or a definite guide on how to solve such problem. So, tepuk dada tanyalah hati. Setiap masalah ada jalan penyelesaian dia. Kalau tak tau, tanya pada Allah. InsyaAllah, Dia akan guide kita.
Suami Mah memang teruk dikutuk di FB, blog etc. Tapi bagi aku, siapalah kita untuk judge kesilapan dia? Kita dah confirm masuk syurga ke? Kita ni baik sangat? Korang sure ke Suami Mah tu masuk neraka sebab dia curang tu? Kalau dia bertaubat, korang ada hak nak tolak taubat dia? Korang siapa?
Sebelum kita maki orang, pass extreme judgment, korang tengok la cermin dulu. Suci sangat ke kita ni. Hina sangat ke suami Mah tu? Aku bukan nak defend Suami Mah. Cumanya, sebelum kita hembur kata-kata nista, lebih baik kita betulkan amal kita dulu. (peringatan untuk diri aku juga)
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