Have you ever truly felt joy? Innocent joy that put a smile on your face and lifted your spirit. The feeling that all is right in the world.
Mine was the day when I first got to perform my first Jum'ah prayer. It is not obligatory for women to join the congregation in performing the Friday Prayer. To be able to experience my first one in Masjidil Haram was such a huge blessing. Indeed, I was overwhelmed with joy that day.
I remember listening to the adzan and just trying to soak in the atmosphere. I was in awe by the sheer happiness I felt in my heart. I was smiling whilst I took my phone to record just a few seconds of the whole atmosphere. My heart kept repeating, "alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah".
Thank you Allah for this blessing.
I was quiet the whole time. Just basking in Allah's love. A few moments later, the khutbah started. It was in Arabic. I was listening without understanding. I resorted to my phone again and started recording. I was told off by a familiar voice.
"Aren't we supposed to be quiet? I was quiet so how is this a problem?" said my heart.
"You better make tawbah for what you have done".
Those words pierce my heart like a broken glass. They shattered my utopia. Such anger and hatred towards what seems to me to be an innocent act.
I made tawbah with tears streaming down my face. Did I cry due to the unkind words or is it due to the fact that I was so regretful of my action? Allah knows best.
The joyous moment passed. Just like any other moment. It went away and turned into a memory.
I remember joy well. Even though it is fleeting. But most importantly I remember that joy that comes from remembering Allah, is truly a blessing from Allah Almighty.
N/B: Why is it hard for us to be kind? Even with our progeny?