Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Gratitude List No. 10 - Public Holiday in Malaysia

Malaysians are just blessed. Due to our diversity and respect to every race and religions in this country, we are rewarded with various public holidays. Tomorrow is Deepavali. A festival of light celebrate by our Indian community. Tomorrow is Wednesday, hump day some called it. Its a good day to just have a break from work and recharge.

I just made plan with a friend to go out for breakfast. Just need to be around people so that I don't feel as if I am wasting my public holiday doing nothing. Maybe I can do a bit of reading as well. Since gadget is around, all information is within your fingertips. But we don't really learn anything from such information. We just search the info for info purposes not for knowledge. It can be changed. Just read as we used to do before there were mobile phones.

Already going off topic... Anyhow, I am going to enjoy my off day. Its going to be epic. I am going to savour each moment and utilized each moment properly so that I will look forward to finish off the week with energy and happiness.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Gratitude List No. 9 - Productiveness

I am so happy and grateful now that I had a very productive week. I get to go to the gym and workout. I manage to complete my assignments on time. I got to keep my positive attitude through out the week. I managed my stress effectively. I got time to unwind and cook at home. It has been a really really good week and I am so happy and grateful for it.

Now that the weekend is coming, i am looking forward to a lot of relaxation, a lot of reading, a lot of sleep and may be some exercise and social time with some friends. Thank you for this blessing, for this peace i feel in me.


Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Gratitude List No. 8 - Peace

We have a bit of a breather today. I am so grateful for that. I get to have my coffee and breakfast in peace without any anxiety. Planning to catch a movie with a colleague tomorrow and perhaps hit the gym again today.

I feel so different since I changed my mindset. Always have a positive attitude. Being grateful for everything I have and everything I am going to receive. had a good chat with my other half today. It was nice to see his face. But he looks a bit different. Probably because he was not feeling well. His living situation at his own house does not look good. he can improve it if he wants but knowing him (he is somewhat like me) he would just make do with whatever he has.

I am so happy and grateful for this peaceful feeling I have in my heart. I have this little joy in my heart that I know will grow in time. The world is bright and colourful again.

Friday, October 6, 2017

Gratitude List No. 7 - TGIF

It has been a trying week. Like seriously. I almost burst into tears whilst doing grocery shopping on Monday. I felt overwhelm with the stress and the whole situation about my other half being so far away.

Nevertheless, the week ends on a high note. I get to finish all my pending work and cleared my work checklist on Thursday. So today I get to just relax my mind a little bit. My sister is coming over this weekend so planning to spend some time with her. So, I have the whole night and tomorrow morning by my self. I plan to have a quiet night at home and tomorrow I need to run some errands. I hope to get what I need tomorrow at the hospital.

Lets get start the weekend people and have a good one!

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Gratitude List No.6 (Not Really)

Yesterday was my first year anniversary with the company. I am pretty proud. It has been a trying year. Truly but I manage to overcome all the obstacles and persevere.

I still have a long way to go. My initial plan was to gain at least 2 years experience with the company. I am half way there. With each passing day, I know that I grow harder but I am second guessing my self so many times these days. I am seriously thinking of finding a greener pasture. I need to do serious thinking on this subject.

I dont feel like I am wasting my time. Its just that I feel that I am subjecting my self to unnecessary stress every single day. I shouldn't be complaining in this list. I am grateful that I am learning so much (i think i am learning). Until I am able to apply all that I have learn, I don't think I have learn much at all.

What do I look forward to everyday? Being able to go home at the end of each work days, satisfied with the job I did that day. Nowadays, I bring work home with me. I bring worries.

My superior is tolerable. A nice person. Its just that sometimes, I feel really really inferior. I know I can handle this but for what??? If there is another company that is going to offer me much more and less stress and worry, really, there is nothing holding me back except for the fact that working in  a big public listed company sounds so glamorous. Glamour does not make  me happy so, it really is not important right?


I am really grateful for the opportunity to gain experience here. I have been exposed to so many things. I do hope that these experience can be applied else where.



Monday, October 2, 2017

My Life Purpose

I had a fulfilling weekend whereby I spent most of my time watching TedEx talks. They are amazing and I am feeling inspired by the speakers.  Despite what I've just said, I also had a minor melt down yesterday and I am keen to blame my hormones for the meltdown. However, after watching several TedEx talks, I arrive to a conclusion that I basically feel rather loss after my boyfriend decides to went back to KK because I lost my purpose.

It has always been my purpose to help him grow and survive here. Helping him in anywhere I can, contributing whenever I can, gave me purpose. That makes me happy. Since he decided to leave, I felt that I am serving no other purpose in my life. Apart from my family and my work which has always been there.

I clearly remembered how happy I was when he got accepted to the aviation program. The advice I gave and everything I contributed lead him on his career path in aviation. I was part of his journey, his struggles. I didn't know that by being with him on that journey, gave me happiness. I didnt know by helping him, it made me happy and gave me purpose.

Now that I lost that purpose and understand what it does in my life, gave me a different idea. I should widen my purpose. I am only giving to him just 1 person. What if I get to give to more than 1 person? What if I can inspire and guide more than 1 person.

Following from this, I intend to joint the gamuda toastmasters. I am very keen to get more serious in public speaking to see whether this could lead me to another career perhaps as I've been told many times that I have this gift in persuasive speech.

May God guide me and grant me ease.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Gratitude List No. 5 - Learning to Love Me

Yesterday, we had a knowledge sharing session with my boss. We are always amaze with the way she does her work, handle the meeting and basically think. Her mind work like lightning and she could always recall her memory when she needs to.

This has always been what I want before joining this company. I want to learn, grow and push my self out of the comfort zone. Now that I am nearing my 1st year anniversary, I am getting more and more grateful. It is difficult sometimes to juggle the work and manage her expectation, but the experience is so valuable. I would need to think thousand million times before deciding to leave this place. I just need to be better in what I do so that other companies can see how valuable I am.

After work, I manage to spend some time at the gym. 30 mins of brisk walking on the treadmill, 20 mins of spin and a few minutes on weight. Pretty satisfied with myself.

At home, I manege  to go through my budget. I found this cool apps that help you to track your expenses. All you need to be is consistent and follow the budget. Since this is the first month I am using it, I want to see how discipline I am with my money when I am on my own.

Having my other half around keep me grounded. I am reminded that I have a commitment to another human being. I do everything I could to stay afloat together. So, taking care of just me should be easier right? All I need is to have my goals and need met everyday. Its time that I take care of me.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Gratitude List No. 4 - A Loner At Heart

I sent off my friend who has been staying with me for the past 2 nights. With her around I realised that I am better off alone at home. We shared the same interest and all but I prefer my alone time brooding or doing absolutely nothing.

I am thinking of inviting my sisters over to my house so that her children can enjoy the pools and park. I used to be this cool sister who take my siblings and my nephews to cool cafes and places. I should do that again.

My boyfriend's birthday is coming up. Thinking of a gift. A special one. Something that can remind him of me. Most probably a wallet.


Monday, September 25, 2017

Gratitude List No. 3 - My Home My Paradise

Malaysian just had a long weekend last week. 3 days off from work meaning a lot of time on my hand. Had a whole day to my self on Friday. Cleaned the house, did laundry etc. Satisfied with the outcome. So, decided to spend some time with a friend. Had a good talk. Shared experience and stories etc. It was nice.

On Sunday, a friend decided to drop by. She is currently staying at my house as she had errands to run etc. The least I could do for her is to show her around. Went for an hour hike at Bukit Kiara, watched a new tv series together on Netflix and just chat. As we are somewhat the same age, same education background, thus we share same interest. It was refreshing. Yet, I prefer my time alone at home.

I am happy that I have a perfect place to call home. My decision to take up the place which is close to office was the best decision I made last year. No regrets whatsoever. I love my home.

I love the fact that I get to spend my weekend with different type of activities with different type of people. I am so grateful. 

Thinking of what to do and cook today for dinner. I have 3.5 hours to go an email to send and then I will be off.

Home sweet home 

Anxiety

Been feeling anxious since last week. Don't think I have a restful weekend due to this anxiety.

Over the weekend, I spent my time watching motivational videos. One of the video was by Simon Sinek explaining about all the different hormones that are release by our body during different situations. There 4 good positive hormones but there is 1 bad hormones release by the body during stressful situation i,e cortisol. It is not good as it suppress your immune system. That is why, those who work in a high stressed environment are more incline to fall sick.

I need to reset my mind and thinking. Rise above the stressful situation at work or just be braver and don't give a shit. Probably I need to do all the above to overcome my anxiety issue. It is easier to overcome all this if you can focus on something else or someone else.

When my other half was nearby, I get to separate my self between my office and personal life (most of the time). When I have to bring my work home, it will get mashup together but there will always be time that I could just stop working and focus on him. Since he is no longer around, my mind is at work all the time. I tried to set goals, personal goals, daily goals but my mind will always worry about my job. I am just scared that I am not good enough. I am scared that I made mistake. I am scared all the time now when in reality, the experience is not as scary as I think it is.

Worries and being anxious is such a waste of time. I put on this brave face everyday when my inside is just a jumble of mess. I am still not doing what I am suppose to be doing and I blame my self for that.


Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Gratitude List No. 2 - Meeting My Needs

Yesterday I had a good workout at the gym. I spend 40 mins on cardio and around 10-15mins on weight and resistance training. Today I intend to go to the class for more cardio session.

I manage to cook a nice dinner after I got back. Tuna bolognese. No pasta. Ate it with omelette and some fresh green vegies. Had a nice cup of hot cocoa and watched some Netflix. Before 10am, I am already fast asleep.

I am so grateful that I love my current house. I love having a place and living alone. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Such a bliss.

I woke up quite early. had a good discussion and now all my work is proceeding smoothly. Its lunch time. I manage to prepare some pasta so that I can eat it with my tuna bolognese.

I need to buy some bread and refuel my car. I will do that today after gym.

It has been a good day.

Gratitude List No. 10 - Public Holiday in Malaysia

Malaysians are just blessed. Due to our diversity and respect to every race and religions in this country, we are rewarded with various publ...