I remember spending time in the hospital visiting my late grandmother and grandpa at the hospital. It just never occurred to me that the illness was a way for God to remind the patients that He loves them and He just want them to remember Him and worship Him more. The thought, the idea crossed my mind during my first night I spent staring at the ceiling of KPJ Damansara's high dependency unit (HDU).
The very thought keeps playing in my mind. God just want me to remember him. I admit that I have neglected my responsibility towards my faith. I am a good person i.e kind hearted, I love cats and I am nice to almost all the cats I meet etc but all my good deeds means nothing coz I failed to take care of my relationship with God. I have been ignoring this very fact for awhile. These were the thoughts that keeps playing in my mind. I was overwhelm with regrets and at the same time I was grateful to be alive.
I cried. I cried every night after each surgery I underwent. After the 2nd operation, I cried every night pleading for forgiveness. I was convinced that God has forgiven some of my sins and since He gave me a second chance to life, I have to redeem my self. Do as much good deed as I can and collect as much "pahala" as I could.
Although I lost almost 8 kilos due to the whole ordeal, I gained so much knowledge and learned a lot about my self, my family, my religion and my friends whilst I was in the hospital. I do not recommend anyone to admit themselves to a hospital to get closer to God tho. Just take care of your relationship with God and God will take care of everything else for you.