Medical Psychology

This is a long post. This is just my mental note so that I do not forget these 2 important events.

Late last year, I had the scare of my life when I heard the news that 1 of my close friend went missing for almost a week. Knowing her and her character, we jumped to the worst conclusion ever. I just silently hope and prayed that she was fine. May Allah protect us all.

A week after the news that she was missing went viral on social media, she was found. She checked herself into a mental hospital and went for ruqyah sessions. Apparently she was a victim of black magic. The person who did that was someone who has been eyeing for her position in the university (my friend is a lecturer). I remember discussing her condition with my ex-bf. I simply asked him if anyone would find me in case i went missing. If anyone would even noticed that I was gone. Would he feel worried etc... Being a nice guy that he is, of course he gave me the kind of answer I want to hear.

Who would have known that, a few months after that, my ex-bf faced somewhat similar situation. However, his condition was more extreme because he was admitted into a mental hospital. He was diagnosed with psychosis. His mental just got disconnected with reality and he just keep on rumbling nonsense.

I get to visit him when he was less than 10 days in the hospital. Prior to the visit, I spoke with him over the phone almost everyday. Just asking him what he wants to eat, how is he doing etc and telling him that I am coming to visit. There was one time that he told me no need to come as he was planning to come over to KL. just to get away from things and rest. I just told him, i want to see him and let me know if he needs anything.

I flew to KK on a Saturday morning. A friend picked me up from the airport and we went to the hospital with 2 buckets of KFC coz that what he asked for. When we arrived, his family (mom, aunty and sisters) were already there. It was lunch time. The first time he saw me, he looked so confuse. As if he didn't know that I was coming to visit him. He walked towards me and gave me a huge hug. He whispered, "I'm sorry" and I replied "It's ok. You are ok". My take on his condition that day, he was just off. He was not himself. A part of him was being replaced by someone or some "thing" that I don't recognized. I sensed bits and pieces of him but his demeanor was just off.

The next day (Sunday), my flight out to KL was scheduled late in the evening. So I planned just to hang out with him. I told his family that they can take some time off and not worry about him that day. He seemed different on Sunday. He was himself. 95% himself. We talked about everything. We made plans. He was hopeful and positive which made me hopeful and positive as well.

2 days after I came back from KK, i flew to Osaka for a week. Upon my return form Osaka, I start researching his condition. From my reading, I think he went through psychosis due to marijuana consumption and developed bipolar disorder due to that. At that time, he was still in the hospital. I called to speak to him and felt that his spirit was dwindling. Its harder to speak to him as he slept more. When I get to speak to him, he sounded irritated. I pleaded to the family to get him out of the hospital as soon as possible. I can sensed that he is no longer doing well.

There was a long weekend holiday in February due to Chinese New Year. I decided to flew to KK just to check on him. If he was still not discharge, I just want to hangout with him and keep him company. I was down with fever and flu at that time. It was a prolonged condition had it since December. Probably due to the back to back flights during that period. A day before I was supposed to fly to KK, I got the news that he had been discharged. I texted him and told him that I will be in KK just recovering from my flu. We can get together whenever he feel like he is up to it. He just replied that he just want to stay home. I am fine with it.

I was in KK for 3 nights if I'm not mistaken. I spent a lot of time just walking around KK playing tourist. I also managed to go to the islands near KK. But since I was feverish, I couldn't really enjoy the water. The last night i was there, I texted his sister and told her that I want to drop by the next day. She was shocked to know that I was in KK but she was kind enough to invite me to her house.

I met him at his sister's place. He was depressed. His short term memory was bad. He hardly remember that I came to visit him a few weeks back but he still remember a lot of things from our past. He was suicidal and seeing him like that made me so sad. All I can do is to pray to God for his recovery. He sent me to the airport. We said our goodbyes and I felt that I said goodbye to a stranger. He is no longer the person I once knew.

We still keep in touch. He would sometime called me out of the blue. I think he is feeling much better now. He is no longer on medication but he still refuse to leave the house. His family took him to Thailand but he doesn't look like he enjoyed himself. I texted his sister once in awhile just to check on him. He is well and that is all that matters.

The whole experience ignites my interest in psychology. I was first introduced to this subject when I was in high school. I did consider getting my bachelor degree in psychology but my family (aka. my uncle Podin), was (and still is) against the idea. Researching on the conditions suffered by both my friends made me realized that I really like reading materials on psychology decided to take up a master course in medical psychology with a local university. From my research also I found out that Malaysia do not have enough psychiatrist and mental illness is no. 2 silent  killer after heart condition among Malaysians. I received the invitation to go for interview last week and decided to turn it down since my current personal affairs is too hectic at the moment. I might try to apply again next year, insyaAllah. If I could help people get better, I want to do that. I want to be useful to the people in need. May Allah ease and protect us all.