Too many things are running through my mind at the moment... Just writing down part of them so that I could evaluate each of them better in sha Allah..
I've been meaning to write about my time in Sabah. I kept thinking of how blessed I was. The hospitality and the acceptance shown by the family is just unbelievable. I feel so loved by them. I am so grateful. It was harder for me to leave the family then to say good bye to Ridzuan.
I am thinking of Ridzuan all the time these days. I must confess, there are times I doubt my decision. But every time that doubt creeps up, there will be signs shown to me reaffirming my decision. He has such kind and charitable heart. He is caring and loving. I keep on praying so that Allah will ease our plans and guide our hearts.
I am thinking of the future. If Allah is pleased with us, we will get marry and then what? Keep leaving separately? What if I got pregnant and he is far? Should I be thinking of all this when we are not even sure that we will get marry?
I want to properly plan my marriage ceremony. I did make a rough plan however, after we had a discussion on financial situation, I put everything on hold. I should be praying to Allah more. Ask Him to satisfy all my needs. We should be prostrating to Him more. Asking Allah to ease our plans and provides us with everything we need. Deep inside my heart, I firmly believe that, if Allah is pleased with our plans, He shall ease all our hardship. So lets refocus. Aim to pleased Allah more because we are asking him for more things now. Bigger things, better things.
Allah please forgive us if we have forsaken you....
These are part of the many many things that are preoccupying my mind rite this moment. Need to write more.
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