Tuesday, June 9, 2015

What Do I Want Right Now

In the name of Allah, the most gracious and the most merciful. All praises to Allah almighty for everything that I have been blessed with today. It has been a slow day thus making it possible for me to write more that the usual.

Last night, I had dinner and a long conversation with one of my closest friend. I have many friends yet the one closest to me are not that many. I am the kind of person who is loyal thus having to commit to a bunch of close friends is a difficult for me.

So, the news of me deciding to marry someone whom I know for less than a month shocked her to the core. Thus, our conversation last night revolves around that. My decision, my thought process etc. For the record (my record so that I would not forget this), we decided to get marry at the earliest stage of the relationship. Way before our first phone call, our first meeting... SubhanAllah, i pray that Allah blesses this relationship.

Getting married is a huge decision. However, that decision was made by us in a split seconds (its more like 1 few days, less than a week). We do hope and pray that Allah guides our hearts and ease our plans. So,  my friend asked me, how could i make such decision without meeting the guy?

Honestly speaking, I was guided by my heart. I felt so much ease when communicating with Ridzuan. The topics we covered revolve on faith and our eagerness to pleased Allah azzawa jalla. I ask God to strengthen our love for Him through this relationship. Make us remember His Mercy and power even more through this relationship.

I am truly humbled by the whole experience. I told my friend that I do not deserve what I have been given thus making me feel so grateful to Allah for His blessings. I told my friend that I disobeyed Allah so many times yet He still blessed me with so much blessings. He gave me a relationship that put my heart at ease and made me more focus on my acts of worship. This sudden relationship made me realize how Great His power is. How he could connect 2 hearts from 2 distant place in a matter of days. If Allah wills something to happen all He need is to say "kun" and it happens.

I firmly believe that this feelings we shared for each other is bestowed to us by Allah almighty and if He wants, Ho could take it back. I am prepared to lose this feelings coz I am truly grateful to be given a glimpse, a taste of how pure love could feel like and what it could do to you.

I am determine to get closer to Allah and at the same time, prepared for more goodness he would give me.

SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahhuakbar!  .  

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