Farewell 2014

Soon 2014 will be just a memory. As I sit here in my office, alive, well fed, dry, healthy and happy, I cannot help but to reflect back on what had happened to me for the past year.

It has truly been a bitter sweet year. Every year started off with a birthday. My birthday. Being semi single at the moment was not fun. I was emotionally and physically unavailable. I got into an accident right after my birthday week. Not a good start to the year at all.

I was misdiagnosed with cancer in March. Stayed for almost a month in the hospital. When through 3 major operations and survived. Alhamdullilah. God is truly the Most Merciful

May, tested again. I lost my best friend. Baiti. I pray that we will meet again in the hereafter. In a better place. I pray that Jannah is granted for you my sister. I miss her so much...

Losing my only close friend made me think about this life, the afterlife, my purpose on this world. I start to rediscover my self. I found solace in my companions eyes, their life, their struggle most of the time is the same with mine, their pure hearts, their kindness in accepting me in their life. I rekindle old relationships which was unbroken even after so many years. I thank God for lending them to me as He has lent Baiti to me.

God is Most Merciful, Most Loving. He showered me with so much love this year. I lost 1 old friend and  He gave me 2 new friends. My housemates. They are younger than me. Way younger but since I never fully grow up myself, we hit off well. I would like to show them the world through my eyes as they are sharing their world with me the same way. They made me hike Bukit Broga 2 weeks after my last operation. They made me eat Korean food. They made me feel young again.

I was determined to change for the better. I reconnect with God and my family and also friends. Don't get me wrong, change is hard. I am still struggling. Almost everyday I prayed for my deen to be steadfast but it's hard. So hard that sometimes I gave in to temptation. In short, my deen is still week.

Although 2014 is the toughest year I have ever encounter, I am grateful that I am still alive, well and happy. It was a tough year for my family as well and hopefully, all the tests given by God brought us closer as a family and closer to God's grace and His mercy. 

As much as I'm looking forward to 2015, I feel terribly sad having to leave 2014. This was the year that I felt so much love showered to me from all directions. 2014 was the year I feet at peace when I pray. I feel happy reading the Quran, I feel healthy fasting during Ramadhan, I feel easy going to the masjid for solah. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for showering with so much love, reward and blessings.

After attending Twins of Faith Conference, I am determine to occupy my time with knowledge seeking, self repairing and improvement. I need to be more involved and more active in preparing for the afterlife. I am not sure how 2015 going to treat me, but I am very sure that I also going to meet my maker one day.

Have a blessed New Year family and friends, InsyaAllah!

    

S.O.S: A Wet Christmas for Malaysia

Flood in Malaysia is not uncommon. Its a seasonal thing. Malaysian were hit by drought where we have water shortage in a number of places. That usually happens in the month of  March til maybe Jun. Now when everywhere else in the world is having a white Christmas, Malaysia is having a very wet Christmas.

It was reported in the news that, this time around, Malaysia is hit with the worst flood ever. Pictures of buildings swallowed by water filled up my FB timeline for the past week. The photo that affect me the most was pictures of hospitals which are not spared from the flood. I could not imagine the condition the patients, nurses and doctors have to faced when the hospital buildings are being swallowed by water. They said that there is no power and patients who are relying on machines have to be helped manually. SubhanAllah!

God help them. Ease their burden. Aameen

It is sad, watching the news and leaders are saying that "we will helped them"; "helped is on the way"; "I am going to visit them once the weather improve"; "we are doing our best to mobilize asset" yet, they are giving press conference in the comfort of their office. Worst still, some leaders are away on oversea trip, playing golf with Obama, cycling on a mountain ridge in New Zealand with family. To make matters even worst, they blame each other for the flood! How is this helping the flood victims?

The only leader that made the effort to see how the victims are doing in the moment of crisis is the Perak's Sultan, Raja Nazrin. His state was also hit by flood. It is a rare occasion for the state of Perak to be affected but natural disaster happens. This is the time when victims need the support of their elected leaders the most.

I pray that the situation ease up and help could be mobilized to the victims as soon as possible. Let us not forget that this crisis is a test of faith from Allah SWT. Allah is not only testing those who are affected by the flood, but He is testing all of us as His humble servants. Are we just going to sit and watch, crolling our FB page, watching the news at the comfort of our own home whilst our brothers and sisters struggling to save their life? May Allah protect us all and give us the strength and courage to help those in need. Aameen!

For those who would like to help, do read the poster below and give what you can. May Allah blessed all your good deeds and grant you Jannah in the hereafter. InsyaAllah

Facing Up to Fazura

Last weekend I accidentally tuned to E channel and they have Facing Up to Fazura FUTF) on. Well, I am a fan of Fazura. Loved her in Gol and Gincu but I'm not an obsessed type of fan la. Once upon a time I am obsessed with NYSYC. Well, those were the days. 

Back to Fazura, I like her acting in Gol and Gincu. I truly feels as if she is playing herself in the series.A cute and nice type of person. I guess its true. When I watch FUTF, I can see what type of person she is. She is a manja type of person, cute yet she has this mature yet sophisticated beauty to her. I like how she speaks English, so Malaysian, like that! No weird accent, I likey!

I think I watched Ep. 2 of FUTF. It was not as entertaining as KUWTK but it is a decent attempt. It shows another side of Malaysian to the world. A modern upscale young beautiful and sophisticated Malaysian. Well, she could very well be the Malaysian Kimora Lee Simmons!

I did not watch the show till the end tho. Its not that its boring or anything, its just lacked drama. Reality tv is all about the drama in my humble opinion lah. They tried to fill in a bit of drama about Sara Ali and her best fren Vi/Vee who was thrown into the pool during a birthday party, but for me, it was not dramatic enough. It seems scripted (a bit).

Again, good attempt y'all

Almost at the End (of 2014)

Tomorrow is Christmas day. To me, its just another public holiday. Planning to go for a jog with my housemate. Perhaps a picnic too. InsyaAllah. Not sure where yet. Putrajaya maybe. Tasik Cempaka Bangi is too filthy. Bukit Kiara is a bit too far but nice for a morning walk. Will update you on Friday about our plans, insyaAllah.

Anyhow, just reflecting the year which will come to an end soon. 2014 is a bitter sweet year for me. I was tested, rewarded, tested again and again. Alhamdulillah... I am grateful. So grateful as I know, when I am being tested, it simply means that God has not forgotten about me. Allah loves me. All I need to do is love Him back. SubhanAllah...

I felt my highest high when I was at my lowest low. When I was lying on the hospital bed after my emergency operation, it all just hit me. The revelation, the truth slapped me hard. Crying on the bed thanking Allah for His mercy. I was high with gratefulness.

In the hospital, I was tested physically and emotionally. Being a positive minded, I leave the physical recuperation to the Doctors by following their advise and preoccupying my self with knowledge seeking. It was difficult. The most difficult task was to remain patience (sabr).

I am so thankful to be blessed with a supportive family. They sacrifice so much to attend to my every needs and cravings. Allah also blessed me with beautiful friends and sahabah who came to visit me at the hospital. Another test came soon after I was discharge from the hospital. My one and only friend, my closest friend Baiti passed away less than a month after I was discharged.

It was a hard reminder that death will come as promised. You might not reach old age. You might not get marry. You might not do all the things you plan to do.A hard fact indeed. Its difficult to swallow coz its true. So, with that reminder, I need to be prepared for death. I prayed everyday so that I die in Iman. I die during prayer. I die on my way to masjid.

Lately, I also pray for a special someone who could complete my deen. A special someone who could lead me and my family to Jannah. A strong someone for me to lean on. For this, I have to be ready to accept in my life as well. I know for a fact that at this very moment, I am not ready. That is why, he is not in my life yet.

I am praying for a great 2015, insyaAllah. I have 3 Islamic Conferences line up. Alhamdulillah. I am making all this wonderful plans to better equipped my self for the hereafter. May Allah is pleased with my amalan and ibadah. Ameen!  

Problem, A Test of Faith and a Blessing in Disguise

Alhamdulillah. This year, due to Allah's perfect planning, I have moved closer to my office that is in Kajang. SubhanAllah, the transition was smooth and I click with my housemates right away. I often forgot that this is a blessing by Allah to me. Although both pf them are young, we have no problem communicating, cooking, jogging and shopping together. InsyaAllah, we will try to go to jemaah at the nearby masjid together.

The nice and innocent one

The youngest and loudest and happiest one

I was reminded to be grateful of this blessing when I was told a story by my close sahabah during Twins of Faith Conference. This sahabah is around my age. We used to be roommates when we were in UiTM Shah Alam. Although our relationship in UiTM was for a short period of time, alhamdulillah by God's grace and technology, we kept in touch until today.

She is currently living in a rented apartment just like I am with younger females, again, just like me. She is kind hearted and homely. Being a government servant with an important portfolio, she could be strict at times and yet still stay humble. She told me that she is having a huge fight with her housemate and now they are not talking. She said that no matter what the argument is she will be the one to apologize so that they will be no tension around the house.Being older that her housemates, she felt that she deserved to be respected and she has the tendency of lecturing, in a very nice way whenever there are arguments in the house. However, whatever lessons she is trying to convey, fell on deal ears. She said that despite all of her good deeds towards this particular housemate, somehow when they argue, all these good deed she had done, did not seem to matter anymore.

May Allah ease her burden and this was my reply to her. I may have paraphrased here but I said something along these line

"I truly believe that I was here with you as your sahabah attending this conference and loving you for who you are, is for a beneficial purpose. You have something to teach me and I have something to teach you. Believe it or not, I have been in your situation but under even worse circumstances. MasyaAllah. A few months back, I was travelling with a few of my family members. Due to my weak faith, I neglected my obligatory deeds towards Allah SWT. I know that I have sinned but it felt so difficult to perform prayers during the journey. Silently I fought this battle with shaitan and I lost. I did my obligatory deeds half heartedly and my heart felt unsettled. This ultimately change my mood and demeanor all through the journey. I neglected my family members, I kept to my self and ultimately hurts their feelings.A few days after that I received a text from one of my sisters. She said that she was hurt because I neglected her and her kids during the journey. She was so upset that she said she does not want to have anything to do with me anymore. She regretted spending her annual leave taking care of me when I was in the hospital undergoing major surgeries. She further added that I do not deserve to be respected as a big sister and she do not want to know anything about me anymore. My reply to my sister was simple. I tried explaining to her the truth of the matter but fighting shaitan is a bit heavy for her to comprehend as Allah has yet to grant her hidayah on this matter. Nevertheless I told her that I am so sorry that I upset her. I told her that I really really appreciate all her kindness that she showed to me whilst I was in the hospital. As I am only human, I do not have the means to return the favour but I asked Allah to return the favour to her in the form of pahala and Jannah during the hereafter.

After telling my sahabah the story, I told her that everything happened for a reason. The first and most valuable lesson that we can take is sabar, patience. God loves whoever that remain patience when he or she is being tested. Her situation and my situation is a test of faith. Ultimately, He wants us to turn to God for guidance.I told her, do not do any good deeds to be remembered and acknowledge by humans. Do it for the sake of Allah, for pahala. Hopefully the deeds will help during the weighing at masyar. In terms of spreading lessons, I reminded her to our prophet Muhammad SAW. He preached. He is the prophet. Despite all his sacrifice, there are still many who did not turn to Allah. How can we as humans expect that our lecture, teachings or reminders will be remembered and followed by another human? Sabar is the key. We can keep reminding them but hidayah and human hearts is being held in God's hand. It is not your housemates fault that she argues with you. It is a test for you. A sign that Allah loves you. So instead of being sad with the whole situation, be grateful, be happy that Allah is testing you. It means that He has not forgotten you. SubhanAllah

After our heart to heart session, she felt better alhamdulillah. We hugged and said our goodbyes.By God, I truly loves her. When Baiti passed away, this sahabah came back into my life. I thank Allah for His blessings. I pray that our relationship will flourish and pleased Him.

                                      

Sharing of the Day

"Allah loves you before you love Him. For a believer who has not turn to Allah, He creates someone who will love him first so that you will realize through him that Allah loves you and want you to turn to Him"

This is a statement that makes a significant impact on me throughout the Twins of Faith Conference. I could not remember which lecturer that gave this statement. Please forgive me for my forgetful mind. Somehow I feel that I could relate to the statement yet I am too weak to act on it.

I feel that my faith is not strong enough that I am able to make someone to turn to Allah. However, I do pray to Allah that He will guide me to the right path. He shall guide my heart to do the right thing because Allah loves His servants.

I am a believer, alhamdulillah.

MENCARI KEREDHAAN ALLAH

Cuma nak berkongsi sikit apa yang aku dapat masa kat Twins of Faith. 10 perkara ni diberikan semasa sesi konklusi konfrens hari tu. Alhamdulillah, mereka upload pulak dekat facebook Jom sebarkan, insyaAllah.

10 THINGS THAT BRING THE LOVE OF ALLAH

Ibn Qayyim (May Allah have mercy on him) said that there are ten things that bring about the love of Allah.

1) Recitation of the Qur’ an with reflection and with understanding of its meanings.

2) Seeking closeness to Allah by performing voluntary deeds after having performed obligatory ones, for that leads one to the highest levels of love.

3) Remembering Allah during every situation – with one’s time, heart and deeds, one’s share of that love is to the degree of one’s share in that remembrance.

4) Preferring what He loves to what you love when your desires are strong.

5) Allowing your heart to reflect on His Names and Attributes.

6) Reflecting on His many favors and blessings, both the apparent ones and hidden ones, for that leads to His love.

7) Having your heart softened as it is worshipping Allah.

8) Being alone with Him in worship when He descends during the last third of the night. And this means to invoke Him, to recite His Speech, to stand with all sincerity and with good manners and with good submission, and then to end that with repentance and with seeking His forgiveness.

9) Sitting with those who are truthful in their love of Allah.

10) Staying away from all that creates barriers between the heart and Allah.

We ask Allah to grant us His love, and the love of those who love Him and the love of those actions which bring us close to Him

Twins of Faith 2014 - The World of the Unseen (atmosphere in PICC)

Alhamdulillah. I am grateful that I was given the chance to be part of this wonderful conference. This post is written out of the glad feelings i felt and still feel till today from the amazing conference I attended last weekend.

For those who have never heard of Twins of Faith, it is a yearly da'wah conference organized by Mercy Mission Malaysia. Please google Twins of Faith and Mercy Mission for more information. Praise Allah, I felt so much love and peace and gladness through out the conference.

Although some might face parking problems, long Q at the toilets, at the surau, at the cafes etc SubhanAllah, it was not hardship at all. People Q with smiles on their faces. As the surau for the sisters was small, I saw for the first time sisters praying everywhere and felt at ease with the situation. Alhamdulillah as the organizer has warn about the situation during the conference, most participants came well prepared thus in my eyes, everything runs smoothly.

Praise Allah, I was glad to have felt all those nice feelings whilst just being in PICC it self last weekends. Brothers and sisters who participate as students, listening to lectures, brothers and sisters who participates as volunteers ushering guests around the venue, brothers and sisters who mend booths selling books, clothing and representing charity organizations, I pray that we are blessed by Allah's mercy and goodness in the afterlife.

I intends to write a little about the lectures given by all the awesome speakers, insyaAllah. They have touched my heart and reminded me of the purpose of my creation in  this dunya. Alhamdulillah. May Allah guide our hearts to the straight path.

Amen

Coffee Brewing Using French Press aka Plunger

After my dad was diagnose with a  serious heart condition, he had to make a drastic diet change. A dietitian visited him at the hospital and told him about food choices. What is healthy, what is not, etc etc...

She told us that we should substitute coconut milk with low fat milk in your cooking. According to dad, mom's curry made with low fat milk is awesome. The dietitian also asked us to change our cooking oil to olives oil and coconut oil should only be use for frying. Fried food need to be consumed as rarely as possible. Most importantly, we have to control our salt in take. Did you know that a normal healthy person should only consume 2 teaspoon of salt every day?

Apart from the salt in take, the other 1 thing that stuck to my mind like glue is about 3 in 1 drinks. She said those drinks are very bad because of the creamer content. The creamer inside each packet is the source of bad cholesterol. It is quite ok to consume 1 packet per week but if we make it a habit and drink it every day, we could one day get a heart problem.

I used to drink instant coffee all the time. Ipoh old town white coffee was my favourite. The coffee taste was strong yet it is sweet. A mug of that used to keep me awake all night during my Uni days. Used to take it with biskut marie. A great pair those two.

After I was (mis)diagnose with IBS, I stopped taking instant coffee and switch to decaf and mint tea. After the surgery, I start making healthier choices and switch creamer with low fat milk. Nowadays, I brew my own coffee using Bodum french press.

It took me 1 month to master the french press method (its easy really but I'm just slow learner when it comes to these stuff). At first, my coffee was too weak. It seems that I got the measurement (coffee to water) wrong. Once I got the measurement right, the taste was a bit off. It has some sourish taste to it. After a bit of research, I understand that my brewing time was not long enough. So, I read and watch youtube videos and now I get to drink a perfect cup of coffee every morning. I didn't know that stirring the coffee after pouring hot water on it was so important.

I started to brew my own coffee because drinking coffee at a cafe is so costly these days. Yes they make awesome stuff but why pay them when you can make your own and have it anytime you want? A simple latte at the only cafe near my office could cost me RM12 per cup (not mug). They use illy and they taste awesome. Imagine if I take away RM12's latte every morning for a month? Nearly 300 just for coffee?

If you have a french press, you get to brew fresh mug of coffee every morning which could cost RM30 or the most RM90 a month just for the beans. Ok la perhaps you would spend RM150 if you take into account the milk you are using.

Talking about milk, its an important ingredient as well to make a nice cup of latte. I tried Marigold's low fat milk first coz that was the brand I'm used to. I love their strawberry milk, so smooth and yummy but I find there is a distinctive smell to their low fat milk. When you add into your coffee, it could overpower your coffee smell and its not nice.

So now I am using F&N Magnolia low fat milk. No smell. Slightly cheaper than Marigold so, win-win!

Yesterday I went to Dome for iced coffee and I see them using Farmhouse Australia fresh milk. If I'm not mistaken, Chatime also using that milk for their drinks. Slightly pricier but I should give it a try. But then again, its not low fat milk they are using for their drinks. Farmhouse range has low fat and also skim milk, not sure how it would taste tho. Will have to try them out and post a review on them soon.

I am not a serious coffee brewer, I am just a serious coffee drinker. I still go out for coffee once in a while. Just sitting in a quiet cafe, reading Games of Throne and sipping coffee is my guilty pleasure. Happy brewing everyone.

Pasar Malam Saujana Prima - Stadium Kajang

Alhamdulillah, aku masih diberi kesempatan untuk menikmati kehidupan di bumi yang indah ini. So, semalam aku dan housemates pergi pasar malam kat Saujana Prima. As usual, bila ke pasar malam especially dengan budak perempuan, mesti akan over indulge.

Since ni first time aku pergi pasar malam kat sini and since one of the girls balik lambat dari ofis, kami semua ke sana lepas Maghrib. Mana nak tau pasar malam kat sini is more like pasar petang je. Bila kami sampai, almost 50% of the vendors dah bungkus2 nak balik. Nevertheless, kami dapat la juga memborong laksa, nasi kerabu, murtabak, roti john and also apam balik. Yang nak makannya 3 orang je. Punya la mengikut nafsu. Masing-masing kelaparan, so itulah hasil tangkapan malam semalam.

Sampai jer rumah, terus makan sambil tengok tv cerita apa tah. Aku sangat-sangat bersyukur coz dapat housemates yang masuk je terus click. Maybe sebab aku ni fleksible and bebudak ni hormat aku coz aku yg paling tua. huhu.... susah nak admit the truth. Nak type ayat tu pun susah ok.

Neway, bila dah kenyang, memasih penuh rasa bersalah and made a promise to run and run and run tomorrow morning. So, pagi tadi kol 6 pagi semua orang dah bangun and kol 6.15 kami bergerak ke stadium Kajang. To our surprise, more than 10 people are there already, running and walking. Kajang people are really really active so I don't mind catching the active's bug whilst I'm residing here.

So I jogged and walked and did some abs exercise. The usual routine. Squats, push ups, kicks. I definitely burn some calories. We spend almost an hour there and then head back home to shower and get ready for work. Alhamdulillah... I feel so healthy today. But tonight I might want to indulge again. eheheh...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Rezeki

Penulisan ini buat peringatan pada diri aku sendiri dan kepada sesiapa yang terbaca post ni,

Rezeki tu pemberian Tuhan Yg Maha Esa.
Ada orang diberi rezeki sihat tubuh badan sepanjang hayat
Ada orang diberi rezeki untuk berkahwin awal.
Ada orang diberi rezeki dapat keluarga yang sentiasa bahagia dan gembira
Ada yang diberi rezeki mudah dapat pekerjaan
Ada yang diberi rezeki pandai semasa pengajian
Pendek kata, rezeki orang semua berbeza. Terpulang pada Tuhan dan amalan kita, apa dia nak bagi.

Ada orang masa sekolah, belajar tak lah pandai sangat, tapi masa kerja, dia berjaya, senang naik pangkat. Ada orang yang masa sekolah dia pandai tapi bila masuk alam pekerjaan, dia tak boleh survive. Ni orang booksmart. Biasanya, mereka akan pursue kerjaya dalam education.

Orang macam aku ni, orang yang biasa2 jer. Masa sekolah memang execelant tapi aku pakai cheat sheet la coz my parents both teachers. Aku ada extra push kat rumah, cikgu2 pun treat aku differently coz aku anak kawan diorang. Aku bersyukur aku sentiasa ada family yang supportive. Alhamdulillah, career wise, rezeki aku sentiasa dilapangkan Allah.

Anyway, back to the topic, rezeki. Kebanyakkan orang lupa yang rezeki tu datang dari Allah. Mereka rasa semua yang mereka dapat atas usaha mereka sendiri. So, if ada orang nak tumpang sekaki rasa rezeki dorang sesama, mereka jadi marah. If orang pinjam duit mereka and lupa nak bayar, jadi gaduh.

Ada juga anak yang rasa tak best bila mak ayah brag about their career success kononnya, mak ayah tak play any role pun dalam kejayaan yang mereka dapat. Kononnya, tu semua hasil titik peluh dia or orang lain yang banyak tolong dia masa dia susah.

Now that's a true story. Mungkin si anak tu tak tau dalam diam mak dan ayah mendoakan kejayaan dan kebahagian mereka duni dan akhirat. Sepatutnya si anak tau la kan. Tiap kali mak and ayah solat, pasti ada doa untuk anak2 mereka. Itu usaha mereka yang paling mahal, paling agung, paling besar, paling suci, paling mulia. Tapi, anak-anak tak tau. Dah berjaya, terus sombong. Lupa apa yang mak ayah bagi kat kita. Always fikir pasal diri sendiri. Termasuk lah aku.

Aku belum lagi bergelar ibu. Tapi aku rasa apa yang mak and ayah nak rasa is bahagia. Kalau kita dapat bahagiakan mereka selama hayat mereka kat dunia masih ada, alhamdulillah. Sekiranya mereka telah pergi, kita kena banyak2 doa untuk mereka supaya mereka dibahagiakn Si Pencipta di akhirat kelak.

Semoga aku dapat jadi seorang anak yang solehah, yang sentiasa mengingati mak dan ayah dalam setiap doaku. Amin...

Operasi Kecikkan Perut

Alhamdulillah... Luka operation sembuh sepenuhnya. Kadang-kadang je terasa sikit sengal2 kat kawasan luka. So, aku kembali ke gym almost every evening.

My exercise regime is in full swing. Sebab dah lama tak exercise, bahagian perut ni terasa agak flabby sket...Tambah pulak dengan luka-luka operation. Sebab aku underwent 4 open abs surgery, bahagian abs aku ni memang dah pelik la rupa dia.

So semalam aku spent some time tengok video exercise kat youtube untuk mendapatkan idea and tips on abs exercise. Lepas puas tengok video, petang tu jugak aku praktikkan dekat gym ofis.

Aku mula dengan light stretching kemudian 20 mins on treadmill. After that, weight exercise and last fatty abs destroyer. Memang destroyed la aku semalam. Plank as always is the killer. Aku boleh tahan 5 saat je k. Tu pun rasa separuh nyawa hilang. Squats, not so bad. Semalam baru try push up. Hasilnya, arini perut agak sengal2 and dah terasa ketegangan dan perut sedikit flat. Yeay!

InsyaAllah, if I continue this for another 1 month, I will get the desired result. Flatter tummy and fitter me. Actually, the main reason is that banyak baju yang aku beli lepas operation dah tak berapa selesa nak pakai. Agak fit kat kawasan perut. Seluar slacks pulak tak berganti lagi. Semua dah longgar abis. So sekarang aku end up pakai skirt labuh and palazzo pergi kerja. Memang ayu abis la kan. Ayu is so not me.

Note to self : buy some slacks!

Pisang Goreng Cheese

Last week news feed kat FB dipenuhi post Pisang Goreng Cheese. Makanan yang viral kat fb memang agak senang mempengaruhi aku okeyh.

So, last weekend lepas jumpa mak and ayah dekat Tg. Malim, adik aku Wah bawak la aku pergi cari goreng pisang cheese dekat dengan area rumah dia, Sri Gombak. Aku pun beratur la. Adik aku kata kat sana sedap sangat.

Setengah jam okeh aku beratur. Orang dok beli 3-6 bungkus sekali. 1 bungkus 5 ringgit. Ada la dalam 10-12 ketul kot dalam bekas tu. Resepi dia sempoi giler. Pisang yang dah digoreng tu, panas2 dia simbah dengan susu pekat manis kemudia ditabur dengan serbuk coklat kemudian cheese yg diparut plak ditaburkan atas tu. Memang berbaloi la bagi aku harga RM5 dengan kuantiti bahan-bahan yang dia pakai.

Walau bagaimanapun, aku tak berapa sure kenapa benda ni boleh viral. Bagi aku takde la sedap sangat. Maybe sebab aku bukan penggemar cheese kot. Entah lah.

Maybe tempat yg aku pergi beli tu tak sedap sangat ke? Alasan nak pergi try kat tempat lain plak. Eheheh...

Gym Addiction

Rasanya this is the 3rd week aku mula workout di gym office. After almost 6 bulan tak ke gym gara-gara takut injured, so now I'm back. Biasa aku akan spend 20-45mins jer kat gym. Lama-lama sangat nanti bosan. Objektif pergi gym, untuk mendapatkan hormon happy. Boleh? Berat aku takde la naik banyak sangat after all the operations. Cumanya, kat bahagian abdomen ni cam weird shape sket. 4 kali surgery kot...aku pun tak reti nak describe camne shape abdomen aku ni. Yang pastinya, memang dah tak normal. Hopefully dengan workout, boleh normalkan balik shape dia. Only recently jer aku baru berani buat sit up sikit... If aku ganas sangat, memang akan rasa slight pain dekat scar especially the most recent colostomy scar tu.

Let's not talk about pain anymore. The weird thing about me kan, aku sangat malas nak berlari dekat public park. Housemate ajak ke stadium Kajang. Aku peri sekali je. Kat stadium kajang tu ada race track. Memang untuk orang berlari la kan. Aku lari satu round je kot then jalan lagi satu round pastu aku dok main2 some exercise equipment/tools around the place.

Last weekend aku bawak housemates aku pergi Tasik Cempaka dekat Bangi. Again, aku berjalan je. Tapi bila dekat gym, aku boleh je lari atas treadmill tu. Takde masalah pun. Tapi nape tah bila sampai open public area aku jadi segan and malas sangat.

Anyway, hasil pergi ke gym masih belum nampak kot. Aku timbang cam sama jer berat aku. Hari ni cuti dari gym sebab baju seluar semua aku basuh malam tadi. So perhaps, akan buat some light exercise jer kat umah petang nanti. My definition of light exercise is 30 jumping jacks, 30 squats, floor exercise including planks. Tu yang paling seksa la aku rasa. Planks. Not sure if I got it right or not.

Apa pun, hopefully aku boleh keep the momentum and try to get my ideal weight with just a bit of sexy muscle on my tummy area. Good luck and all the best to me!

Lelaki Curang @Suami Mah - Kita ni Suci Sangat Ke? Dah Confirm Dapat Masuk Syurga?

This week, news feed FB dipenuhi dengan kisah suami curang. Oleh kerana aku takde suami, aku pun agak malas nak layan benda2 viral and takde efek kat kehidupan aku. Somehow, aku terjebak jugak lepas terbaca article kat blog ni. Tambah pulak dengan colleague yang tetiba open up to me about same situation. Husband dia pun curang. 

I was like, "Viral kat FB efek dia sampai ke real life ke?" Tapi bila fikir balik, apa yang diviralkan dekat FB tu adalah true story. Real life situation. Its no surprise kalau kita pun pernah dalam situasi yang sama or much worse.

As for me, aku pun pernah alami benda ni. He was seeking solace elsewhere and when I caught up with his antics, he blamed me. Sama la macam Suami Mah tu. Dia yang curang kemudian dia salahkan isteri dia tak jaga badan pulak. Memang psycho lelaki yg justify his wrongs by pushing the blame tapi since I had first hand experience, I know for a fact that this is men's natural defence mechanism.Macam automatic reflex pulak aku rasa. Kalau bini ko tangkap ko curang, ko salahkan dia balik. Suami Mah punya blame shifting memang extreme la bagi aku. 

Typical typical men.

The question that comes to mind is, whose fault is it when shit like this happened?

My humble opinion is both are at fault. Its true that trust is fundamental in a relationship but before trust, there should be honesty. How to determined honesty? Through communication. When you are with someone you loved, you should be able to communicate openly, be vulnerable, share everything with your partner. 

If you can't do that, you have a problem. Most of the time, we can see the signs, but sometimes, we refused to believe the signs because you love your partner so much. You refused to believe that they could do something so unspeakable. Then you just let him continue with what makes them happy to avoid further conflict.We are to be blame also.

Bagi aku, dalam relationship kita memang akan face this type of shit but takde manual or a definite guide on how to solve such problem. So, tepuk dada tanyalah hati. Setiap masalah ada jalan penyelesaian dia. Kalau tak tau, tanya pada Allah. InsyaAllah, Dia akan guide kita.

Suami Mah memang teruk dikutuk di FB, blog etc. Tapi bagi aku, siapalah kita untuk judge kesilapan dia? Kita dah confirm masuk syurga ke? Kita ni baik sangat? Korang sure ke Suami Mah tu masuk neraka sebab dia curang tu? Kalau dia bertaubat, korang ada hak nak tolak taubat dia? Korang siapa?

Sebelum kita maki orang, pass extreme judgment, korang tengok la cermin dulu. Suci sangat ke kita ni. Hina sangat ke suami Mah tu? Aku bukan nak defend Suami Mah. Cumanya, sebelum kita hembur kata-kata nista, lebih baik kita betulkan amal kita dulu. (peringatan untuk diri aku juga)

Struggle

A list for self improvement purposes. I am gaining weight. Not much but still I am drifting for my ideal weight therefore I need to take some action.

I am cutting down on sweets and creamer in my drinks. I am also re-starting my gym from today on wards. However, I am still eating rather unhealthily. I am constantly skipping dinner these days. I opt for Gardenia butterscotch bread whenever I feel the hunger pang.  

I think it is not so bad but it is going to be bad if I don't exercise and make skipping dinner a habit *sigh

Cholesterol Control

I've been packing extra pounds after the recent health scare. I weighed 57kg after the operation. Currently I am 64kg. 7kg gained in 7 months. I've been eating unhealthily and refused to do any work out. I was afraid that I might hurt myself in the process.

However, last Monday I went for a jog with my housemates at a nearby stadium early in the morning. It was refreshing. Might do it again tomorrow morning and make it a new habit. I also need to eat more cleanly. My dad just had his own health scare last Wednesday. He had a heart attack. It was a major heart attack as one of his artery was completely blocked.

Whilst he was being treated at Ipoh Cardiac Care Unit, he was visited by a dietitian. She ordered my dad to totally quit smoking. Apparently, my dad does not have high cholesterol level, however since he is a heavy smoker, his healthy cholesterol is too low making his cholesterol ratio unstable. Apart from that I learned that 3-1 drinks is high in cholesterol because of the creamer. I also learned that egg yolks contained high cholesterol so my dad need to limit his egg yolks in take to 2 yolks per week.

As for me, I need to stock up on green tea. Apparently, green tea not only reduce your waist line, it also reduce the level of cholesterol in your body. I need to exercise more. I can do squats and a bit of weight lifting while watching my favourite tv shows. I need to change my coffee intake too. No more non-dairy creamer. I am going to substitute it with low fat milk.

So, that's the plan. Will update my progress in the future. Wish me luck!

Small Business Ideas

Lately, I have been having all these ideas about starting a small business in the office. Perhaps, I could add some pocket money to go to Mecca in December.

I did try accessories trading once. That was 6-7 years ago perhaps. I didn't work out well. Now my love is food. I like cooking and I love seeing people eat my food.

Fruits cocktail pudding is my favourite dessert. My mom makes the best fruit cocktail pudding.

Another recipe that I might try is kek batik. Super easy.You can google the resepi.

Another item that I might want to sell, is aiskrim Malaysia. Just a few simple but yummy flavours like bandung, jagung, milo, asamboi... Miam

I hope I could start the project over the weekend. We shall see..

Me & Spicy Food

Its lunch time. I am trying to cut back on food since I realized that I am expanding sideways. I didn't gain weight tho. But some of my post op clothes almost cannot fit anymore. So today I had breakfast, skipping lunch, drinking a lot more water than I normally does and I will take dinner so that I can sleep well tonight.

Being a typical Malaysian when it comes to food i.e we Malaysians love food. Local, western, Middle Eastern you name it. I love them all. My absolute kryptonite is coffee and cheesecake and spicy food. I used to love ice cream but now not so much and I don't know why.

Back to the topic, for those who don't know, I have a medical history. Last March I had an emergency operation for intestinal tumor. So, I figure after surviving the whole ordeal, I should take better care of my intestine right? I tried. Coz a few month after the corrective operation, my intestine does not digest as well as it used to.

So last week, I made chicken bolognese. Chili powder and coarse black pepper were amongst the ingredients apart from onion, tomatoes etc. It turns out tasty. The first night I had it, I didn't have any issue with it. Since the sauce I made was a lot. I get to reheat it and eat for dinner the next day. Coz I am trying to finish the whole sauce, I ate a huge bowl of pasta as a result.

I could feel there was a slight heat after finished eating the whole bowl of pasta, and then the toilet visits started. Didn't get much sleep that night and it continues till the morning. Its not diarrhea, lucky me. But having to go to the toilet instead of sleeping can drained you. So the next morning, I had a mug of black tea and slept in the whole day.

So I assume that I can't tolerate heat from spicy food as I used to. Recently I had bad experience after eating a smoked salmon sandwich with Tabasco sauce. I think I did go overboard with the Tabasco sauce. Another sauce that my stomach could not tolerate is Life Chili and Garlic Sauce. Its not that spicy but somehow, it irritates my intestine so much.

I need to take good care of my health as it is a blessing that I am still alive after undergoing 4 operations this year.I should start my exercise regime but I am too lazy and there is no cure for laziness.

Customer Service in Malaysia

On my way to work today, I stop by a Dunkin Donuts (DD) shop to get my morning coffee and some donuts. I don't do this everyday, let me tell you that. I just love to indulge in good coffee just to motivate me to go to work early on a Monday morning.

So, since it was pretty early and perhaps I was their first customer of the day and it is Monday, the server attending to me today was not too friendly nor smiley. I am not a cheerful happy morning person my self and I rarely take offence to such behaviour. But somehow today I was a bit offended. Me being me, I keep it all to myself and rant out on my blog instead.

So, I wanted to get iced latte and some donuts to go so when I walk in there is no welcome greeting (that is fine by me) and there is no "what would you like to have?" or "can I get your order?" from the staff. She just stood there looking at me while I look at the menu. After telling her I want iced latte without whipped cream, she went straight to making my drinks. It took her about 3 minutes or so and once finished, she asked whether I want anything else. Which is good coz I do want some donuts. Who went in DD without getting donuts is a weirdo in my book.

Anyhow, after telling her I want sugar raised, chocolate and blueberry filling she told me the total costs. I think it was less than RM 20, RM16.70 or sumthing but since I have no small notes, I had to hand her RM50 note. She asked whether I have smaller notes and I told her no, I don't but I have small change. So I fished out 70 cents from my purse and put it on the counter. As she was counting my balance, I told her, "here, I have shillings". She just handed me my balance and said, "we have so much shillings already".

I was surprised. I remember when I used to work as a cashier during semester break long long time ago, I begged for small change. Normally I asked for small change like 10 - 50 sen max but there will be time when we ran out of shillings that we asked for 50-70 sen. But today, I offered 70 sen and she rudely refused. Whoa... Probably she was mad that I gave her RM50 notes so early in the morning and she is now running out of RM10 notes. I've been in her shoes, that is why I didn't lash out. I simply said, "okay" and walked out. 

I have several other bad examples to share but I think, it all comes down to education. People working in customer service line, need to educate themselves well on how to treat customer courteously. I am not a difficult customer, so why did I do to deserve such a treatment this morning?

There was this one time my sister and I had the worst customer service experience at a Pizza Hut in Kampar that we immediately e-mailed a complaint whilst having our meal. We did not scold the staff or anything like that coz to me, its not their fault they are behaving that way. They did not get the proper training,  that's all.

 

photo from reflectionofsanity.blogspot.com

I was in Mid valley Kuala Lumpur a few months back. At that time, Antipodean, a new coffee joint just opened. It was noon I think and one of the owners were there. An expatriate, and he was showing his staffs who are mostly locals on how to properly wipe a table. I am sure that they were also taught on how to greet customers and how to take orders etc because I always had good experience having coffee there. Antipodean in Mid valley is just a normal coffee shop. No fancy furniture or deco, nothing. But they serve awesome tasting coffee by great servers. I could just sit there alone, having cups after cups of coffee. Totally addictive!     

Customer service in Malaysia is nothing to brag about. Some Starbucks joints do have those amazing servers that will try to make you smile and left an impression on you and there are some who tried too hard and left the wrong type of impression in your life ( I encountered those too) So, as a customer dining and transacting in Malaysia, I advice you to lower your expectation so that you would not be too dissapointed. If you have a fickle partner who had the tendency to complaint and lash out at every minor or major faults, I advise you to quickly run before your partner exploded in front of everyone (I encountered this too but too bad it was a drive thru transaction thus I had no where to run)

Have a great week ahead peeps!

Review: Teater P. Ramlee the Musical

Last Friday I had the chance to go and watch P. Ramlee the Musical at Istana Budaya so here is my humble review.

First of all, the lead actor Tony Eusoff was impressive. Strong voice and he played the part very well. Really as if we are watching P. Ramlee himself. Next, Lisa Surihani where she played Junaidah, P. Ramlee's 1st wife. She could improve on her singing  tho but I must say I was impress. I didn't know she could even sing. However, the part where she had to sing and cry at the same time, not too good.. I know she is trying to feel the character and all, however she really need to control her voice during that part. Good effort still...

Tiara, the Queen. Awesome performance. She is a super senior in Malaysian theater so, no surprise there. Love her part, her voice, her everything! Saloma was played by Nadia Aqilah. Seriously, I don't know who she is before the musical. Upon googling, I think she is a singer. Great voice, great performance. Totally blown away by her talent.

As for supporting actors such as the paparazzi. At first, I was annoyed with their appearance  but towards the end, their performance was getting more and more powerful. Great voice, really great voice, awesome scripts. JJ and Pak Nil did well so does the Shaw Brothers duo.

Overall, great performance.Awesome choreograph! Since this is only my 2nd time watching musical, my opinion is still limited. The first was Lat the musical and that was almost 4 years ago perhaps? Somehow I feel Lat was somewhat better than P. Ramlee. Just my 2 cents.

 Looking forward to PGL in November!

September

Tahun ni bulan September merupakan bulan yang paling pendek aku rasa. Tak sempat nak post satu entry pun kat blog usang ni.

September dipenuhi dengan pelbagai cuti dan aktiviti. Aku dihantar pergi training, bos aku cuti, aku dihantar pergi Singapore dan macam2 lagi lah.

Banyak benda aku nak kongsi kat sini tapi entah kenapa moof menulis tersangatlah nipis hari ni. Beberapa hari lepas aku dapat berita sedih. Berita ni lebih kepada peringatan buat aku. Tapi hati ni degil, betul2 keras masih alpha, masih kefur atas nikmat yg Tuhan dah berikan kepada aku.

Hati ini terasa kosong. Aku perlu kembali ke pangkal jalan...

Semoga dipermudahkan

Buatmu Baiti

Malam ini sepi

Aku terkenang kembali

Kenangan menggamit memori

Si dia bernama Baiti

Coretan dari hati

Hati ini merindui

Hati ini mengingini

Agar kau kembali 

Sesuatu yang suci

Kurniaan Illahi

Untuk aku nikmati

Tapi aku lupa syukuri

Sampai saat kau pergi

Tiada berganti

Kini aku sepi

Menangis sendiri

Memohon Ilahi

Agar ketemu lagi

Di Jannah nanti

Apa Hak Kita?

Nak tau apa hak kita?

Tau dulu siapa kita

Siapa cipta kita?

Kenapa kita di sini?

Lepas tu tanya semula

Apa hak kita?

Banyak nikmat Tuhan beri

Pernah tak kita syukuri?

Doa pohon itu ini tiada henti

Tak mengapa Tuhan sukai 

Mereka yang sedar diri

Kita kurang serba-serbi

Janji Tuhan tak mungkin dimungkiri

KepadaNya kita sandari

Segala harapan dalam benak hati

Hak kita kepada Allah perlu diutama

Hak kita kepada ibu bapa dan keluarga

Paling penting, hak kita pada diri sendiri

Hati, fikiran, tubuh yang dikurniakan harus dijagai

Tingkah laku serta akhlak dan moral harus diperhati

Semoga hidup kita sentiasa diberkati Ilahi

Moments Raya 2014 dan Salam Kosong-Kosong

First of, today hari raya ke-5. So, masih boleh ucap selamat hari raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Batin pada semua...

Tahun ni ada salam baru. Namanya salam kosong-kosong. Mungkin bersempena dengan World Cup yag baru abis ni diorang came up with salam kosong-kosong. Aku paham apa maksud salam kosong-kosong tapi aku just rasa salam ni tak sesuai diucapkan waktu raya. Unsur-unsur Islam dan kemelayuan dah takde bila kita pakai salam kosong-kosong ni.

Gila old skool aku ni kan? Aku bukan old skool k. Aku semua ok je. Change is good tapi if it is not broken, no need to fix it la. What is wrong with maaf zahir batin? Its perfect!

Raya tahun ni lebih kurang sama jer macam tahun-tahun lepas. Cuma yang lainnya, aku tahun ni jadi anak tunggal. Adik 2 orang dah kahwin so banyak spend time ngan family dorang, kemudia yang bongsu pulak beraya kat London dengan kawan2 jadinya tinggal la aku dengan my parents. Amazingly raya kali ni punya sesi memasak tak haru biru sangat. Semua dapat disiapkan on time walaupun yang ada kat umah time tu hanya aku, mak and ayah and sometimes Yus yang busy menyiapkan order biskut raya kat kedai.

Apa pun aku bersyukur sangat sebab diberi peluang berhari raya tahun ni. Ok lah. Takde idea nak tulis apa lagi..Enjoy the pictures, moments raya 2014
.

Hikmah di Sebalik Kekejaman Zionis Israel di Gaza Untuk Ku

Setelah sekian lama aku meninggalkan FB dan mengaktifkan diri di IG, kini aku kembali ke FB... Updates dari page Aman Palestine dan Aqsa Syarif adalah posts yang dinanti-nanti. Apart from that, pelbagai video yang sedih, menyayat hati turut dikongsikan...

Hari ni aku tengok satu video. Seorang kanak-kanak yg tak pasti samada berada di Syria ataupun di Palestine melaungkan kata-kata semangat kepada saudara dan para sahabatnya. Mengingatkan mereka mengapa perlunya mereka berperang. Mengapa mereka sanggup mati.

Kanak-kanak kecil itu begitu yakin, begitu suci, begitu ikhlas semasa mengucapkan kata-katanya. Walaupun air matanya menitis, suaranya tetap lantang mengatakan kekejaman yang diperlakukan kepada mereka pasti akan dibalas. Ya Allah...

Aku pasti Tuhan telah mengurniakan kesabaran, keteguhan iman derta keberanian luar biasa kepada semua umat Islam yang sedang diduganya. Air mata aku mengalir semasa menontot video tersebut. Terasa diri ini begitu lemah jika dibandingkan dengan semangat anak kecil itu.

Vidoe-video sebegini membuatkan aku lebih bersungguh-sungguh di dalam doa-doaku.. Aku masih lagi memperbaiki lagi rasa khusyuk dalam solat. Aku kini berusaha untuk solat pada awal waktu. Cuba untuk menyempurnakan setiap ibadahku supaya ianya diterima Allah.

Aku sedar aku adalah hambanya yang sentiasa berdosa. Aku belum lagi menjadi Muslim yang sebenarnya. Namun aku akan pastikan yang aku adalah seorang Muslim yang lebih baik dari aku yang semalam... InsyaAllah...

Tujuan tulisan aku mengenai ibadahku di blog ini bukanlah untuk menunjuk-nunjuk. Aku memohon kepada Tuhan agar aku dijauhi dari sifat ujub.. Tulisan ini bertujuan sebagai peringatan kepada diri sendiri. Sekiranya aku tergelincir dari landasan sekali lagi, ini adalah peringat buatku bahawa aku pernah mempunya semangat untuk terus berusaha memperbaiki diri. Aku tidak harus berputus asa kerana Allah tidak pernah melupakan hambanya... Siapalah aku untuk tidak mensyukuri segala nikmat yang telah Allah kurniakan kepadaku?

Tangisan Palestine

Sudah hampir 2 minggu Palestine diserang Israel. Public outcry berlaku hampir diseluruh dunia. Banyak perhimpunan solidariti bersama Gaza diadakan. Sokongan rakyat dunia kepada Palestine sungguh mengkagumkan SubhanaAllah!

Kalaulah mereka yang berhimpunan ini diberikan senjata dan kesemuanya di hantar ke Gaza, aku yakin tentera Israel akan dibunuh beramai-ramai. Mereka begitu kejam terhadap rakyat Palestine. Sudah terlalu banyak darah umat Islam yang tidak berdosa tumpah di bumi itu. Gambar-gambar mayat si kecil menghiasi newsfeed mukabuku setiap hari.

Hati ini sebak, luluh melihat penderitaan mereka, Hanya doa sahaja dapat aku sumbangkan untuk mereka. Semoga Allah memberi ketabahan dan kesabaran untuk mereka dalam menghadapi dugaan yang telah ditetapkan Tuhan buat mereka. Semoga mereka yang syahid ditempatkan bersama para Syuhada di dalam syurga yang abadi.

Di sini aku ingin melahirkan sedikit rasa kekecewaan. Seperti yang aku mention tadi, penduduk dunia membantah serangan Israel keatas Gaza. Mereka berhimpun, meluahkan perasaan di media sosial dan banyak lagi. Namun, di Malaysia hanya sedikit rakyat Malaysia yang betul-betul ambil berat mengenai isu di Gaza dan rata-ratanya adalah umut Islam. Bagaimana dengan rakyat bukan Islam di Malaysia? Di mukabuku aku, hanya ada seorang kawan berbangsa Cina yang berkongsikan post mengenai situasi di Palestine. Yang lain-lain senyap atau cuma meletakkan post seperti melepaskan batuk ditangga selepas aku menemplak sikap tak endah mereka di mukabuku.

Yang berhimpun di Jepun, New Zealan, Chicago, Scotland, Sweden kebanyakkan bukan orang Islam pun. Mereka berhimpin atas dasar perikemanusiaan. Sedih sekalai kerana masih ramai lagi yang sanngup tutup sebelah mata, memekakkan telinga dan terus tidak mengendahkan berita-berita yang menyayat hati ini. Mungkin Tuhan yang tutupkan hati mereka dari mengambil iktibar dan petunjuk dari apa yang sedang berlaku di Gaza.

Video-video kanak-kanak yang terselamat dalam runtuhan bangunan-bangunan cukup untuk menunjukkan betapa hebatnya kekuasaan Tuhan Allahuakbar! SubahanAllah...

Cukuplah luahan perasaan untuk hari ini. Hati ini sedih, cukup sedih. Namun aku yakin, janji Allah itu pasti. Umat Islam akan menang. InsyaAllah!

"When God is with you, nothing can go against you"

Hair Cut

Semalam I made a bold move of cutting my hair really really short. The last time, I had such haircut was when I was very very young. Probably I was 9 years old. I had thick hair and my mom just had enough of hair on her hands at that time I guess. So she decided to make me get a boy-cut.

I am never the type of person who cry over short hair. But when I first cut it so short, I told my mom dat I need to wear tudung to school just to cover it. Definitely not the right reason to wear tudung but yeah, that's what happened.

Now since I am now a hijabista, single, unmarried so I thought, who cares how my hair looks like. Its not like anyone apart from my family is going to see it right? So, bye bye long frizzy, curly hair and hello short and sexy hair do.

I don't look bad. I actually love my new do so much that I want to keep it as short as possible all the time. My head feels lighter and according to mom, I will save some money on shampoo...

p/s: got so many things to blog about but.... its Monday, I am sleepy and tired and lazy. so.... till then!

Tergelincir Dari Landasan

Sebagai seorang  manusia biasa, aku tak boleh lari dari melakukan silap, salah, dosa. Apabila berada dalam bulan puasa yang oenuh keberkatan ni, aku sepatutnya memperbanyakkan amal ibadat, namun segala-galanya terasa berat sekali.

Hari ni masuk hari ke 13 umat Islam di Malaysia berpuasa, dan aku masuk hari ke-9. Aku cuba sedaya upaya menyempurnakan amalan ku yang wajib dalam bulan puasa ni sebelum sibuk merebut puasa ibadat sunat. Alhamdulillah, aku diberi kekuatan untuk turut bertaraweh di Kajang dan masjid di rumah lama serta surau di kampung.

Tak dapat aku nafikan, minggu ni aku seperti tergelincir dari landasan. Aku tak salahkan sesiapa hanya diri sendiri. Iman dalam dada masih belum kukuh, aku masih mudah tunduk pada nafsu. Minggu ni aku rasakan seakan Tuhan semakin menjauhi aku. Perasaan sedih, bersalah, lemah bercampur baur menyebabkan hati aku tidak tenang.

Tatkala hati ini meronta, aku baca Quran, Yassin dan berzikir sebanyak yang perlu. Ya Allah semoga ditetapkan imanku dan diperkukuhkan ketaqwaan ku. Kau tenangkanlah hatiku ini...

Aku rasakan jalan menuju ke Jannah semakin mencabar untukku. Ya Allah, Kau permudahkanlah segala urusanku.

Puasa oh Puasa

Orang dah berpuasa selama 5 hari termasuk hari ni. Yang aku baru dibolehkan berpuasa. Puasa yang agak berbeza tahun ni. Berpuasa di Kajang. Masih tak tau kat mana letaknya bazaar Ramadhan, surau, masjid etc...Nasib baik lah Company ni bagi subsidi makanan ... So, ada lah makanan nak bawak balik kalau dah malas sgt nak tapau or masak.

Rasa a bit lost. Pastu, sejak dua menjak ni aku agak emosi la bila aku lapar. Sangat takde mood nak layan kerenah orang yang pelik2. Akibatnya, intern aku yang banyak tanya soalan ni jadi mangsa.

Aku betul2 try nak control perasaan kelakuan aku supaya aku ak menyakitkan hati sesiapa. SubhanAllah...susahnya... Nak kata hasutan syaitan, mana ada syaitan. Tapi kena aku cepat rasa fed up time2 puasa ni?

Malam tadi tak berapa lena nak tidur...Bila dah lelap malas nak bangun sahur. Padahal dah set alarm, dah terjaga tapi nak angkat kepala dari bantal tu punya la berat.... Allahuakbar...

Perkara-perkara ni mudah je aku lakukan sebelum bulan Ramadhan hari tu. Kenapa sekarang perasaan malas tu banyak sangat.. Dugaan oh dugaan....

Semoga aku diberikan kekuatan untuk menyempurnakan ibadat puasa pada Tahun ini.....InsyaAllah!

Ujian Allah...

Setiap hari samada kita sedar atau tidak, kita sebenarnya diuji Allah. Kebanyakkan masa kita hanya ingat pada ujian Allah apabila kita berada dalam kesakitan atau kesusahan sahaja. Sebenarnya, sewaktu kita senang juga kita diuji Tuhan Yang Maha Esa.Sewaktu kita senang Tuhan ingin lihat adakah kita ingat kepadaNya sewaktu kita senang, sewaktu kita gembira? Adakah kita mensyukuri segala nikmat pemberiannya?

Hari ini terlihat post kurang ceria dari seorang kenalan. Bunyinya seperti dia berada dalam kesusahan. Dalam diam ketika aku menatap updatenya di komputer aku berdoa semoga Allah mempermudahkan segala kesusahannya dan membantu dia menghadapi apa juga dugaan yang tersedia untuknya.

Aku sedang membaca buku ini sekarang. Aku jarang sekali membaca buku bahasa Melayu apatah lagi bacaan yang berunsur keagamaan, namun semenjak aku keluar dari hospital, diriku seolah-olah dahagakan ilmu agama, ilmu ketuhanan. Aku menyedari yang aku telah lama tidak mengisi rohaniku dengan bacaan-bacaan ilmiah sebegini. Betapa teruk aku telah menzalimi diri aku sendiri. SubhanAllah!

Gaya tulisan penulisan ini sangat bersahaja. Isinya jelas, straight to the point. Mudah difahami, relate-able. Aku kagum dengan ketetapan niat penulis dan isterinya untuk berhijrah ke Madinah. Kenapa aku tidak punya keinginan seperti itu? Mungkin kerana aku belum lagi sampai ke kota Madinah. InsyaAllah, hujung tahun ini, aku dan parents akan mengerjakan umrah. Semoga aku menemui keberkatan dan keredhaan Allah.... 

Selfie

Siapa yang tak pernah ambil gambar selfie? Angkat kaki cepat!

Tadi terbaca headline berita kata ada someone dies after taking a selfie... Baca headline je la. Camne dia mati sebenarnya, aku tak tau la plak.

Selfie ni bukan benda baru. Sebelum wujud perkataan selfie pun orang dah post gambar diri sendiri kat FB. Sekarang ada pulak instagram, lagi ramai la orang berselfie dan update gambar kat ig termasuklah aku... Walau bagaimanapun, aku try la nak limitkan selfie aku tu to at most 5 pics a day. Ni utk selfie k. Post gambar makanan 100 kali pun takpe. Selfie tak leh banyak sgt la, segan... eheheh...

Mengupdate blog masa tengah busy dengan AGM bagai... adei.... Terusha ig sorang mamat ni, memang kebanyakkan post dia adalah selfie, but he's a dude... Nape aku takleh terima lelaki camtu? What is wrong with me? So double standard kan? At least he got the look and he is just confident of his appearence, jadi dia show la to everyone... eheheh.... (argue dgn diri sendiri. so psycho la u)

Kena attend meeting plak. ciow