Almost at the End (of 2014)

Tomorrow is Christmas day. To me, its just another public holiday. Planning to go for a jog with my housemate. Perhaps a picnic too. InsyaAllah. Not sure where yet. Putrajaya maybe. Tasik Cempaka Bangi is too filthy. Bukit Kiara is a bit too far but nice for a morning walk. Will update you on Friday about our plans, insyaAllah.

Anyhow, just reflecting the year which will come to an end soon. 2014 is a bitter sweet year for me. I was tested, rewarded, tested again and again. Alhamdulillah... I am grateful. So grateful as I know, when I am being tested, it simply means that God has not forgotten about me. Allah loves me. All I need to do is love Him back. SubhanAllah...

I felt my highest high when I was at my lowest low. When I was lying on the hospital bed after my emergency operation, it all just hit me. The revelation, the truth slapped me hard. Crying on the bed thanking Allah for His mercy. I was high with gratefulness.

In the hospital, I was tested physically and emotionally. Being a positive minded, I leave the physical recuperation to the Doctors by following their advise and preoccupying my self with knowledge seeking. It was difficult. The most difficult task was to remain patience (sabr).

I am so thankful to be blessed with a supportive family. They sacrifice so much to attend to my every needs and cravings. Allah also blessed me with beautiful friends and sahabah who came to visit me at the hospital. Another test came soon after I was discharge from the hospital. My one and only friend, my closest friend Baiti passed away less than a month after I was discharged.

It was a hard reminder that death will come as promised. You might not reach old age. You might not get marry. You might not do all the things you plan to do.A hard fact indeed. Its difficult to swallow coz its true. So, with that reminder, I need to be prepared for death. I prayed everyday so that I die in Iman. I die during prayer. I die on my way to masjid.

Lately, I also pray for a special someone who could complete my deen. A special someone who could lead me and my family to Jannah. A strong someone for me to lean on. For this, I have to be ready to accept in my life as well. I know for a fact that at this very moment, I am not ready. That is why, he is not in my life yet.

I am praying for a great 2015, insyaAllah. I have 3 Islamic Conferences line up. Alhamdulillah. I am making all this wonderful plans to better equipped my self for the hereafter. May Allah is pleased with my amalan and ibadah. Ameen!