How to Build A Wall Around Your Heart

I am a person who gave my heart away so easily. I care and love for someone so easily and they often take me for granted.

I am feeling slightly depress now. Probably because I have been neglecting my obligations towards my faith. I am feeling uninspired. I just need to get shit done but what if I am not interested in doing shit?

I met a guy, who is slightly younger but way more accomplished than I am. I am not envious, just impress that I have this someone in my circle. Its an eye opener. I am adjusting to this. I feel awkward. I don't know if I hang out with him because I am interested in him or simply because I am lonely. I also do not know why he is hanging out with me. We have a few things in common. Since I am slightly older, I feel somewhat insecure. I have to be more confident coz confident is sexy and attractive. Need to work on my self. I have time. I need to properly use those time on me.

He is using his time to read and write. I write too.. But it is just for me. Am i selfish? If working on me makes me happy then why not right?

Have you ever met someone who you just clicked immediately. No awkward pause or anything. That is all my meetings with new people. Everybody just clicked into my life. But how do these people transition into a special someone?

Distraction

I need a distraction. I am currently just preparing for 2 trips. Bandung in December and Osaka i January. In between of those 2 trips, i am distracting my self with work. Just received words that I need to attend a meeting in Singapore this Thursday. I dislike business trips. It just suck the fun out of travelling. I need to keep an open mind ... Just take it as part and parcel of life. Just chill and enjoy the ride.

I want to plan for a short domestic getaway. I missed the sea and the white sandy beach. But its rainy season here in malaysia. I have to put that idea on hold and furthermore, I should save enough money for the upcoming 2 trips.

I am not sure how much pocket money i need to bring. I am planning to do a bit of shopping in Jakarta and just a light shopping in Osaka. I am looking forward to buy some winter apparels in Bandung and perhaps 1 or 2 G shock in Japan.

Dreading this business trip. Today, there was a plane crash involving Lion Air. An Indonesian low cost carrier. Its a devastating news

Crushing Hard

I have a huge crush on my dentist. For the past month, I have been visiting my dentist for a root canal treatment (RCT). The whole process was loong and excruciating but it was bearable since i like the dentist.

My dentist is actually a childhood acquaintance. I've known him since i was small. We were in the taekwando class together. He opened up his own practice a few years ago. The whole RCT has not been easy on me. The first session took almost 4 hours to complete and it caused me to bleed that i had to visit him again after a few days. The second one was fast and uneventful but the 3rd one was complicated. the session was completed in 2 sittings.

I have always been a bit choosy on my dentist. So now that I have met him, I wouldn't mind visiting the dentist every other month just to see his face.

MRT 2 drama

I may be bias since I am somewhat part of the company that is currently constructing the MRT2 (MG) but since everybody is putting their opinion out there, here is mine. 

To those who manage to sift through all the political agenda and see the real fact of the matter after reading and watching everything published on social media, I say kudos to you sir. Those who has yet to make up their mind, I say take your time coz the amount of info out there is overwhelming. There are numbers percentage calculations involved, engineering terms being thrown around (TBM VD TBM etc), the various different entities , different key figures giving contradicting statements and many more confusing things. Its a real life soap opera and I, like most of you guys, am a bystander (at least I think and hope that I am just that). I probably am standing slightly a little closer than any of you due to  my current position. I digress.

Nonetheless, to those who made up their mind and goes on agreeing with the cabinet decision to re-tender the 60% uncompleted underground portion of the project, i say, please use your brain logical thinking skill (provided you are blessed with such skill).

I am not going to discuss details, but merely appeal to your logical thinking. When the news broke on Sunday, my mind goes, MG is unable to arrive at a lower figure? So MG would rather let 20K employees lose job then just maybe cutting 2K position or apply some cost saving measure somewhere? MG dare to risk losing a huge project just because don't want to let go of a few billions? Why is MG being so hostile towards the gov now? Most of their big projects come from the government. Why are we picking fights with the ultimate employer? We are not interested to do anymore gov project ke?

This is the gov that G chose. The company gave extra leave for employees who need to balik kampung to vote. G's MD is the first to release an e-mail asking the employees who balik kampung to vote need not rush back for fear of civil unrest. This is the company that loss so much after selling their water asset to the Selangor gov. So when LGE issued the cabinet decision, my mind is just boggled with questions trying to find logical answers.

On Monday, the management rushed to prepare a response to LGE's statement whilst the employees went all out to social media sharing their feelings. Since I am just a kici mayung machai in the company, all i did was observe the bosses rushing into meetings after meetings. The employees (tunnelers) organize themselves as i think, they are all in survival mode. Their livelihood is being threatened. If your livelihood is being threatened, do you just sit there and accept or do you get up and do something to change it? 

Many brilliant minds out there commented, once the project is re tendered, works starts again, then they all will get their job back. How I wish that it is that simple. How I wish that digging underground tunnels is as easy as digging a hole by the beach. It can all be washed away by a crashing wave and other can easily starts digging a whole new hole at anytime. Again, I digress.

The point that most people missed is that MG did gives their proposal for cost reduction. Parties was still negotiating when LGE issued their statement on Sunday. MG suggested that an international consulting firm is appointed to really determine the real cost of the uncompleted portion and parties will just follow the consultant's proposal. To that, the gov gave no reply but issue a statement saying the underground contract is hereby cancelled. 

Let's do a simple logical thinking exercise. Assuming a new company get the underground job, they will start hiring, does the current tunnelers need to re-apply? Can the new company gives a guarantee that all these people will be employed by the new company? How long this hiring process going to take? In the meantime, what do you suggest these tunnelers do?

I can go on and discuss the issue on engineering design etc but those points may be too complex even for me to explain. I leave that to the engineering people to decipher. 

A few days after LGE issued the statement, Tun issued another statement saying that the gov will review its decision. Then a few days after, Azmin is saying a committee is going to be set up to review the whole contract. If its just a review and not an outright cancellation and re-tender as per what LGE said, whats the point of his statement on Sunday?! Cakap kosong? Just to crash the stock market? Making investors jittery? Driving the economy to the ground? Making the value of Rinngit even weaker? Showing G who is the boss, as if they don't know it already? 

LGE has to remember that he is the Finance Minister (for crying out loud). What you say have effect! Does he realised that? I am just wondering right.  Who in the world benefited/profited from his statement on Sunday?

Unless someone could gives believable explanation as to why LGE issue the statement on Sunday, the whole drama is not making any logic sense.

Long Weekend Getaway Ideas for Malaysians (Last Minute Planners)

My friends and I are planning for a getaway due to a substantially long weekend coming up in a little more than a week time. Since it is super last minute, most hotels and resorts in Malaysia's major tourist attraction (eg. Melaka and Penang are fully booked. We were considering an island vacation. For some reason, all 4 of us are a huge beach bum. Our initial choice was to go to Pulau Kapas. But all the chalets there were fully booked. Then we considered Tioman. There were a few rooms available in Juara Beach but the guys were not to thrill with the location of the beach.

I came up with the plan to go hangout in Perak, my home state. There are many tourist  attractions, amazing local delicacies and a free accommodation (due to the fact that my parents are still in Mecca performing Hajj) It was the safest and cheapest idea. I was thinking of a road trip of discovering waterfalls and of course food hunting. There are so much to do in Perak. Taiping lake garden is very beautiful, Ipoh cafe scene is one of the best in Malaysia and there are other attractions to explore.

Another friend was insisting to go to an island. All the major islands in Malaysian are fully booked so we have no choice but to look at those islands in Thailand. We agreed on Koh Lipe since the pier is near and the accommodations are cheap.

Crossing the border was a huge hassle. It needs a post of its own. The island is beautiful, the underwater scene is so-so. I think Malaysia's is much nicer. The food is good but most of all, the group that I went with is just awesome. I had so much fun and I am so glad i made new friends.

Netflix and Coffee

Its finally Friday. It has been such a long and draggy week. Quiet and uneventful. Uneventful week makes me even more tired than usual.

Been binge-ing on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Its a unique talk show hosts by a comedian, Jerry Seinfeld. To be honest, I am not really familiar with his work. The only thing that attracted to me to even start watching the series is the word "coffee" in the title. Jerry took his comedian friends to various type of cafes, delis and restaurant around US and I find their cafes very very inviting. Especially those quaint cafes in small towns. And that Jerry Seinfeld really love his coffee. I don't feel like having coffee whenever I watch the show. It feels like I am already drinking the coffee just by watching him drink gallons of his coffee *i guess i am weird that way

I find comedians to be a very interesting bunch of humans. Although their work requires them to stand up in front of a huge crowd, most of these comedians prefer to be left alone and are socially awkward person. I find my self to be funny as well and sometime I can be a freaking weirdo around people but I like to think that I am friendly and approachable.

Anyhow, its the weekend. I have no plans but to spend time with my cat, drink coffee all day and perhaps do a bit of reading. That reminds me. I need to get something good to read when we are travelling to Hanoi next weekend. I am looking forward to drinking lots of Vietnamese coffee.

Products Review - Simple, Neutrogena, Nanowhite, Dr. Morita and Laneige

I have just starting to wear make up again. Its fun to put colors on my face and experiment with new products etc. The downside is that make up could cake up your pores and acne may appear here and there. This exactly what happen to me.

Make up could make my face look so nice and smooth but when I wash off my make up, my skin looks so tired and dehydrated. I just started adding face scrubs to my weekly facial routine. A routine that I have been avoiding before coz I was not using much make up and my face is on the dry side. 

I think scrubs facial wash helps to exfoliate dead skin and unclogged your pores. When you stacked so much products on your skin, even if you have remove them with make up remover and use a foam wash after, there may still be some residue. So I started using facial scrubs to exfoliate all those make up residues and dead skin. My current product is from Simple. Its cheap and readily available at any drugstore. 

image from google

After scrubbing my face gently (pls be gentle coz the tiny grits in the scrubs will do all the hard work for you), I use a tiny amount of deep clean face wash from Neutrogena. This product has been my best companion for more than 10 years. But this year, this product needs a partner to be more effective (I am not ready to retire the product yet)

So Neutrogena has come up with a couple of variance to the above product which I have yet to try. When 1 thing works for me, I am not gonna replace it ever! That's just who I am I guess. After rinsing and drying my face, I would proceed to apply toner. For toner I just use whatever that is available and cheap. Currently I am using a product from Nano White. It is suppose to refine your skin but I don't think it is working. To me, by toning you are just ensuring that there are no soap residue left on your skin before you apply other skincare products.

image from google

After toning, if my skin is having some acne on it or just scabs of acne, I would apply snail bee essence. It helps to cure the unhealthy spot. I got it from Hermo in April. 60ml sure last a long time.

image from google

The last step is to moisturize. For this I currently have 2 options. My current favourite is from Dr. Morita. I think its hydrating, moisturizing and brightening my skins just after 1 use. I bought is from Guardian. I got it first from Hermo but I sure glad Guardian carry that brand now and the price is very affordable considering how huge the tub is.

image from google

 My second pick is from a "high end" brand considering the price range. Whenever I use this product as a sleeping mask, I would wake up to a very dewy moist face. I prefer Dr. Morita's brightening effect plus Laneige is a bit pricey but you could get a good deal from Hermo.

image from google

This is a long post. But yeah, maybe one day I could look back to this article and see if anything have changed since.

Dare to Dream

I joined a bowling competition held by my company last Saturday. The real shocker is that I managed to win the women's individual category. The win made me thought about getting serious in bowling again. My performance I still average but with much practice, I could improve and be better.

Playing for a team and winning for the team give a sense of pride and joy which is unexplained-able. I love the feeling tho. Should I get serious again. Play on a weekly basis and maybe join small competition for the fun of it?

Probably I should just consider. Give it a try for a month and see if my team members are serious as well. Will take it from there

What I am Saving For

Saving should be a lifestyle for everyone because it teaches you to be mindful with the money you have. Saving is also something that most people is struggling with including my self because we have so many wants in our life. When I go out for shopping, I find my self googling for the best of everything i need. The best instant coffee, the best setting spray, the best wet wipes, the best air freshener etc (I sound so vain, I know) simply because I can afford them.

But, I want to save some money for other things like travel and buying a property etc.. Facebook memories reminded me that I was in Amsterdam 3 years ago. I remembered the heartbreak of having less than 12hrs to spend in Amsterdam. I am making a vow to return to Amsterdam soon which means I have to save up some money for the journey. I need at least RM 5K for this.

I am also saving for my haj. My mom made me dump a small fortune in there a few months back and I am supposed to consistently increasing the sum. this should be a priority because we are not sure how long we have in this earth. If we do not focus on pleasing our Creator, what do we say on the day of judgement. Can we tell Him that I have other important thing to prepare for? What is more important than preparing for THAT DAY?

But God also create this live to be enjoyed. If not He would just make everything similar to each other. There is no need to explore etc. Since there is so much to look at, to try and explore, we are given the freedom to choose. Choose to be balanced. Prepare for the Hereafter, but also enjoy the present of Today.

Not sure if I am making any sense. But its just my thoughts for now

Aspirations

Putting it out there in the universe.

I want to live abroad. UK or perhaps Canada. Earning a comfortable living. Enjoying life. What can I offer to the world? What can I share with the world? What is my talent?

I used to be a good friend to many. A wing man to my boyfriends. A shoulder to cry on. Maybe I should start sharing my life experience. What is my major life experiences? Many, since I am older now. I can share about school days. How I strive. The type of work i put on. Is it still relevant?

I can share about relationships. Family dynamic. Friends I had. Will there be anyone interested in all these?

Work experience, interview experience, stress management. Work life balance. 

Family and friends think I am boring. I could be if I want to but I am not really boring in my mind. I have the weirdest and most massive imagination since I was a child. I still talk to my self. I talk to my imaginary world I created in my mind. 

What is my biggest issue? Always feeling unsatisfied with what I have. Being ungrateful. Feeling empty. I sound depress but I dont think I am. I am probably a bit stress and thats it. Should I create a list of topics I wish to share with the world? Could that be my contribution? Will it makes me happy?

I will be so happy if I get to do things I love everyday and get paid for it. So the question is, what do I love to do? Definitely a bit of traveling, experiencing new things, meeting new people. Should I try to live in a new place? See if I like it? Being out of my comfort zone? The process of doing it is something I am not too keen about.

Am I the person who hate hard work? Is it because I feel like I am always working hard and still feel unsatisfied. I know I should always be grateful. Feeling grateful will open more doors for me. Restarting my gratitude journal.

What is a Digital Nomad?

I was browsing through youtube last week and came across a youtube channel of 2 girls who became a digital nomad after a few months of travelling the world. The term "digital nomad" was not foreign to me but I have not come across anyone who are just starting to be a digital nomad and willing to share their struggles and journey with the world. Most of social media influencer just share the good life, their mesmerizing stories about their travel. to me, Beer For Breakfast (that is the name of their channel) is very honest and interesting. another thing that I find interesting is that, they are currently living in malaysia. You can check out their channel by clicking here!

It takes a lot of guts to uproot your stable life, quit your 9 to 5 job and just move to another country but there are many who have done just that. Many of those decided to make Malaysia as their base which is not surprising as our currency is cheap and the country is a developed country with friendly people, beautiful islands, unique cultures and delicious food plus high speed internet everywhere.

I told a friend of mine about digital nomad just to get her take on it and she shares my view. We would not choose to do what Justina and Micha (the girls from Beer For Breakfast) are doing. Perhaps we have been conditioned/program to the extent that we need stability and hard work doing 9 to 5 job could ensure that and the millennial are all about freedom to do whatever whenever wherever. They are a gutsy generations with so much potential if they could just focus their mind long enough on a task.

I have the privilege of working with millennial here in this company. By definition, I am also a millennial/Gen Y just an older version (maybe). You could find out what generations you belong to here. I read many stories where millennial  who joined a huge corporate sector right after graduation and quit in less than 5 years. There are many factors but my take on this issue is a double edge sword. Most corporate company in Malaysia is being lead by a group of senior managers (baby boomer of gen X) who are used to certain ways of things. Millennial are those who explore new ways of doings things and sometimes these 2 generation have difficulties in understanding each other. This different approaches may (sometime) create conflict and friction.

I really think that different generations could really learn from each other. Each generations has their own strength and weaknesses. Older generations need to realize that technology is changing every single day hence they need to change too for the sake of progress.

Demotivated

I just got back from Raya holiday. Not feeling the best about returning to work. I realised that the work is not making me happy. I guess stress at work is normal but the apprehensive feelings that I get just by being at the office is just not healthy i feel. The fact that I manage to gain a few pounds over the Raya holiday also making me depressed.

Now, my plan is to do is pursue those things that makes me happy. No matter what it is. One of the things that will surely makes me happy is travel planning. When I was at home, my mom and I watched a lot of tv. There are 2 documentaries on the middle east that fascinated us. One was shot in Turkey and the other was in Egypt.

I think, travelling to a Muslim countries would be fun since it is easy to find food and places to pray. Perhaps, I should focus on those countries for my next holiday with my family. Mom was up for it since she will complete her haj this year.

Writing this ease my stress a little. was planning to write last nite but I was too tired. I am still tired today but tomorrow is Friday.

Rejoining the Gym - Babel Fit TTDI

Its weird that I am updating this blog when I have not done much for the past week in terms of fitness. We are still in the fasting month. The fasting help in keeping my weight in check. if I manage to squeeze in a bit of weight training, it is actually a major bonus for me.

I am not sure why I am thinking of rejoining the gym. So I am writing here just to sort out my thinking process. You know how we, women, could jumble all our thoughts in our big box and got loss in our own thoughts. I don't like to be stuck like that especially if I need to make a decision. So basically this post is my pro and con list.

Before we get to the boring stuff let me just justify (to my self) why I want to re-join the gym:

1. the main, number one reason is that there is this new cool gym open up in TTDI call Babel Fit. Why am I so attracted to this gym? Apart from the gym is located in a cool looking building and the gym is design in a cool yet elegant way, it is also located in TTDI which is the place that I do almost everything. I go to night classes here, I prefer to have my meals here when I dont feel like cooking, there are many cafes if I feel like having coffee and cakes plus it is just a stone throw away from my place.

source: marie claire malaysia website

source: babel.fit instagram

2. it is not that I could not see the fruit of my hard labour slaving at my home gym. i feel like maybe, just maybe my progress could be sped up a little. I am seeing muscles and lines on my abs but I still could not get rid of my abs. I can feel it shrinking alright, I just bought a new pants and I tighten the old ones with a belt. Perhaps I am just a little bit impatient. When I joined a gym, I could see the result within a month. The result is drastic perhaps because I was a bit overweight at that time. Now that I have lost all that excess, the toning is taking a bit more time. Maybe if I join a gym, the toning part can be done faster.

Well I guess, I have just 2 reasons why I want to re-join. Now lets move on to the boring part. Why I should not re-join the gym.

1. Cost
Gym's subscription could get pretty costly. The average monthly commitment is $200 - $250. That is basically 3000 per year.  This point doesn't really matter since I can claim it from my company. Its just that my claim have an annual limit so I might bust my quota if I join a gym with a high monthly commitment. so let me strike this point out for now considering I may not need to subscribe to the gym membership for the whole year.

2. Time.
This is something that I dont have (maybe). If I decide to join, my only free time is after work. I am already committed to the night classes which runs every Tuesday to Thursday at 8.20pm to 10.30pm. If I just go every Friday to Monday, 4 days straight? Its workable. Its still worth it but just that I dont have any rest in between those days la. Can my body take it? I could also go to the gym straight from work then get to class after gym. Its going to be a very short session if like that.I could get there at 6 something, train for 1 hour and then prep for class. Also workable.

In short, I could do it if I wanted to. I can make it work. Depending on how much I want it la kan. Will visit the gyms after raya and see which one fits me.

Hibernation Mode

Today is the 4th Ramadhan. It has been great. I have yet to visit the Ramadhan bazaar. Have been cooking plenty of amazing food at home. I am going to run out of ideas by next week I think. The best thing is, no food is being wasted. I cook enough for me, I know what I put in each meal. I know how clean the ingredients are. I had so much joy cooking for my self.

Manage to stay at home the whole weekend. Thought of watching Deadpool 2 but it was released last week so the cinema going to be swarming with people and I am just not in the mood to handle that.

image source: google

Nonetheless, it was a productive weekend. I get to workout, tidy up my wardrobe, mop the floor, cook bunch of food and get lots of sleep. I also did get to watch the Royal Wedding which was epic!

image source: today show

Both of them are clearly smitten. Its a fairytale came through

Fasting Day 1

Almost 3 hours into the fast and I am already drowsy. I did not take any caffeine during sahoor as I read that it is not advisable as it will make you feel dehydrated.

I may need to change the menu tomorrow as clearly I need coffee to function.

Just a bit of recap on what i ate for sahoor.

I had 1 serving of protein
omelette with spinach and arugula between 2 slices of wheatgerm breads and water of course.

I am still thinking of what to cook this evening. Most probably chicken curry with chapati with a side salad. I am thinking of working out but all i can focus on right now is to just go home and sleep

Ramadhan Mubarak - Lactose Free Sahoor Ideas

Ramadhan is here once again, alhamdulillah. It is a blessed month that all Muslims has been waiting for. I am pretty excited but a also a bit unsure of what I am going to have for sahoor tomorrow morning.

I used to eat overnight oats and apparently is a go to meal during ramadhan but since i am abstaining from milk and having overnight oats with almond milk don't really cut it for me (in terms of taste), I am researching other options.

Peanut Butter Chia and Flax seeds Sandwich

I would think that this is the quickest and easiest choice. But I am not too sure if it would be fulfilling enough. I may need to supplement it with a protein shake. In fact, I am planning to take 1 serving of protein during sahoor. I am currently in love with Dymatize Cookies and Cream Iso100 Hydrolyze Whey coz it is so yummy. I can also see  my muscle gains after incorporating it in my diet


Eggs Variations

Just because it is super easy to make. Eggs muffins, scrambled eggs on toast with avocado, boiled eggs with salad, french toast, eggs sandwich, omelette

Soups

I can make a huge batch and just freeze them. keep them in small easy to reheat batches. I can add noodles or oats to make it more filling.


Smoothies

Since I am planning to take some protein during sahoor, perhaps I should turn it into a smoothie blend. I can add oats in it and just blend it together so that it becomes more filling. I am not sure how it would taste like if I add fruits in it since the flavour I have now is C&C. I shall experiment!


Ramadhan has always been the month where I experiment with a lot of recipes. If I am not too lazy, I will share them here. 


Ramadhan Mubarak!!

Body Goals & Friendship Issue

I've been steadfast in my exercise regime. I can see that I am definitely building muscles. However I have not been very discipline in my diet. I know that it is better for me if I eat clean and healthy food but I love coffee and I have a huge sweet tooth. As a result, I find it a bit hard to define my abs area and also my lower body.

Hopefully, this coming Ramadhan I am able to keep a closer tab on my diet. No outside food. Lots of salad and home cook meals. I hope to shred more fat and build leaner muscle. This way I am hoping to save more cash too. Can spend and give more to the family instead.

As a side note, last weekend was an almost perfect weekend except for the fact that I spent some time with Sven and feel like crap afterwards. I am not sure why I was a bit unease with his financial problem as that is really not my problem. Perhaps I have this negative view on those who do not have their shit together despite their age. Those hypocrite that do not practise what they preach. I was a bit pissed and I am not too sure why I have such a feeling. Should I distance myself from him? Should I talk to him about his financial problem? I really dont want to get involved in his issue. I am a friend but... what kind of friend am I? Since I never discuss my financial difficulties with him, I should not interfere with his too. Money matter is such a sensitive issue.

I am hoping to save at least RM 20,000 by Jan 2019. May God ease.

2nd Redang Holiday

Brought my parents to visit redang last weekend. It was such a blast. They had a good time. They tried new things. They overcome their fear. They accommodate my needs and wants. They are the best parents a kid could ever wish for and I am so grateful for them.

Planning another holiday, another destination where I could just take them to relax, enjoy the scenery, eat good food and have fun. Thinking of Maldives or another small city in UK. May Allah ease. 

Progress updates

Its a hectic week. Which I love coz the days just flew past me. Been making good progress on dieting as well. Manage to cut back on sugar since I am drinking coffee with soy milk now. Manage to workout consistently but really need to manage the intensity.

I can see that my waistline is shrinking but not shrinking as fast as I hope it would. I know I could get better result if I get gym membership. Its just that now, I do not have the time. Home workout suits me better these days. I need to be discipline in my diet and also the frequency of my workout. My objective is to be lean and toned all over.

Financially I am grateful that I am stable. I get to spend on whatever I need and still set some aside. But I do feel that i can set aside more so that I don't spend too much on unnecessary stuff. I am increasing the amount on the next paycheck. My target is still to save at least 10K by December 2018.

I went to get a haircut on Monday and super happy with my new short hair. I need to get a proper headscarves or shower cap so that I can wash my face without getting my hair all wet. I also plan to spend RM200 per month for a regular hair treatment. I just want to get back my healthy thick straight hair.

I am actually procrastinating. I have 3 task for the day and I just don't have the energy to focus on any of it. LAME EXCUSE. I know... 

April's Fool

It has been hectic. I have yet to get a totally relaxing weekend. Went back to my hometown, got stuck in a massive jam 2 weeks ago. Family get together last weekend. A friend is coming to visit this weekend meaning I have to make sure my house is spotless. Hopefully I will have a super good relaxing weekend next week. The weekend after that is a long weekend for me as I am going to Redang with my parents.

I have been consistent with my workout regime but having a bit of a problem on the dieting side. This would mean that my mid section is not shrinking at all (or as fast as I hope it would). I take massive sugar and creamer with my coffee. Trying to cut back by bringing soy milk to work and pack lunch.

On a brighter note, my bicep is showing. Super proud of that but I need to target other muscle groups like my back and shoulder as well as my chest.

Went to do early raya shopping with my parents in Bangi. Bought 2 pairs of baju. Done my raya shopping. so can focus on saving more money. Plan to save at least 10K this year.

Monday Post

Had a relaxing weekend. I am grateful for that. Having a slow Monday. I am grateful for that. I am fasting today. Did not manage to properly eat for sahoor but that is not a big deal since I have enough energy stored in my body.

Thinking of cooking pasta and baked chicken breast for dinner with some veggie at the side. Been thinking about a lot of stupid stuff. Just me being impatient i guess. I have a lot of good things going in my life. Why do I need to think about the things that I don't have? The thing that I loss? Those things are not good for me.

I need to focus on me. My body toning mission. My knowledge seeking journey. My beauty regime. Making my parents happy. Travel plannings. I have enough on my plate. Why does my brain keep asking for unnecessary things?? So annoying

Realizations

Been pondering and thinking and reflecting.

I have a lot of things to improve in my life as I am imperfect. My life could be better if I do a few changes.

Physical matter

I could keep my weight off if I don't drink so much instant coffee drinks. For that I just need to find an easier, healthier and yummier alternative. Instead of 3 in 1, maybe i should make my own using just instant coffee and milk. Like what I did in Madinah. Warm milk plus coffee, its yummy! I have that milk warmer i bought in Madinah. Should start making use of that.

Money matters

I could save more. If I am frugal enough, I have 2K balance from my salary every month. If I could just save have of that consistently, I could start planning to buy my own property next year. I also need to give more. Share more.

Spiritual matters

I could be more focus in my prayers. I need to stop talking to my self whilst praying. I do that a lot I find. Keep forgetting what I was doing. The classes have been fun. I am grateful that I got the chance to join. May God keep me steadfast.

Personal matters

I am looking and praying for someone who could complete me. Someone who reminds me of God every single day. Someone who motivate and support me. I know that if it is meant to be, we will find each other. I just need to be patient, keep the faith and pray for the best coz God knows best.

Gains

I need to make some changes to my diet. Been taking too much sugary and creamy drinks. My exercise regime is affected since my gym close down. I did some weight training at home but i think it is not sufficient. Perhaps I need to do it daily to maintain my weight?

Its just that I recently enrolled into night classes. I will get home close to 11pm. Perhaps I can do 30 mins workout prior to shower and going to sleep. 

I need to get on a proper diet regime to assist me. If not I am going to gain the weight that I've loss and that would be a terrible shame.

Chinese New Year 2018

The perks of living in Malaysia is that we are blessed with so many public holidays! Chinese New Year is coming up next week. Since our company has many chinese employees and bosses, the office will be closed for 2 days next week meaning we have a 4 days long weekends. Weeeee....

Normally I would go back to my hometown but considering the traffic jam and all, my sister and I decided to just stay put and celebrate CNY in KL instead. I am finding ideas of what to do. Will end up staying indoors watching netflix the whole time instead if I do not have an interesting enough plans.

Currently, my usual weekends involved a lot of netflix, a bit of physical activity and some shopping. Its a pretty good weekend itinerary in my opinion. I get to relax, read, do a bit of housekeeping. Yep. I really enjoy my weekends.

Perhaps this long weekend I can spend it in the city. Maybe visit the KL Park, or KL Tower etc. Catch up on movies perhaps. Hangout at the mall. Have nice meals. I am pretty content with my current situation. I have planned an island trip early next month. exactly 23 days away. Its an all in package. Yes, I indulge a bit this month. I did a lot of shopping too. Bought 2 designer watches, a new court shoes, a handbag, a pair of swimsuit, a memory foam pillow, a new bed sheet. This type of spending need to stop soon as my fund is depleting. 

On a brighter note, I am currently debt free. Settled all my loans. Now I just need to take care of my daily expenses. I am so happy with this achievement.

To Do List 2018

I have not been able to come up with a list for this year. Been reading a lot and the focus for this year is just going to be on me. Last saturday I finally paid a visit to Yayasan Ta'lim just to check out the night classes schedules. I signed up for all classes. There was no commitment fee but if you want to get the certificates, your attendance have to be 80%. I just finding ways to compel my self to be steadfast in my journey as a devout Muslim.

I am still contemplating on a solo travel. I am thinking of experiencing a quiet country life in UK or France or Italy. Just experience how the locals live.  Not do much of touristy things. Need to narrow down on the specific town. I can't imagine living in London. Somewhere near to London (perhaps). I am not sure.

This main focus this year is my self and not worrying about others too much. So far, I have been able to do just that and i am pretty impress with my self. I just need to stick to stick to the routine and once I have the necessary momentum, i will be ok.

2018

Its the 25th day of 2018. This is my first post for the year. I have been having nose blocked as well as mental blocked. Been meaning to write, note a few experience on umrah but have yet to find the will. Not sure how this post will turn out too be but whatever...

Its been almost a week since I left the Holy Lands. I brought back with me a terrible flu. and a bag of gratitude. Perhaps my gratitude was mask with this flu I am trying to manage. The memories of my umrah seems so surreal. When I was there, I keep savouring the moment and kept thinking what a blessing I have to be able to just commit my time and energy to God and just focus on the whole journey without thinking about work or relationship or anything else.

I will write a proper post on my umrah. I am realigning my focus. I need to find a new purpose. Something to look forward to in 2018. Physically, spiritually, financially.

I am aiming to sculpt my body to perfection. Bought some weight plates. I had a go at it last night but very lightly since I am still unwell.

Spiritually, I've discovered night classes in TTDI. I am planning to check it out.

Financially, I am trying to save up to RM10,000 minimum. Once the fund reach 10K, then only i can plan for everything else. Target date is sometime in the middle of the year.

I am still thinking of a white christmas.