Farewell 2014

Soon 2014 will be just a memory. As I sit here in my office, alive, well fed, dry, healthy and happy, I cannot help but to reflect back on what had happened to me for the past year.

It has truly been a bitter sweet year. Every year started off with a birthday. My birthday. Being semi single at the moment was not fun. I was emotionally and physically unavailable. I got into an accident right after my birthday week. Not a good start to the year at all.

I was misdiagnosed with cancer in March. Stayed for almost a month in the hospital. When through 3 major operations and survived. Alhamdullilah. God is truly the Most Merciful

May, tested again. I lost my best friend. Baiti. I pray that we will meet again in the hereafter. In a better place. I pray that Jannah is granted for you my sister. I miss her so much...

Losing my only close friend made me think about this life, the afterlife, my purpose on this world. I start to rediscover my self. I found solace in my companions eyes, their life, their struggle most of the time is the same with mine, their pure hearts, their kindness in accepting me in their life. I rekindle old relationships which was unbroken even after so many years. I thank God for lending them to me as He has lent Baiti to me.

God is Most Merciful, Most Loving. He showered me with so much love this year. I lost 1 old friend and  He gave me 2 new friends. My housemates. They are younger than me. Way younger but since I never fully grow up myself, we hit off well. I would like to show them the world through my eyes as they are sharing their world with me the same way. They made me hike Bukit Broga 2 weeks after my last operation. They made me eat Korean food. They made me feel young again.

I was determined to change for the better. I reconnect with God and my family and also friends. Don't get me wrong, change is hard. I am still struggling. Almost everyday I prayed for my deen to be steadfast but it's hard. So hard that sometimes I gave in to temptation. In short, my deen is still week.

Although 2014 is the toughest year I have ever encounter, I am grateful that I am still alive, well and happy. It was a tough year for my family as well and hopefully, all the tests given by God brought us closer as a family and closer to God's grace and His mercy. 

As much as I'm looking forward to 2015, I feel terribly sad having to leave 2014. This was the year that I felt so much love showered to me from all directions. 2014 was the year I feet at peace when I pray. I feel happy reading the Quran, I feel healthy fasting during Ramadhan, I feel easy going to the masjid for solah. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for showering with so much love, reward and blessings.

After attending Twins of Faith Conference, I am determine to occupy my time with knowledge seeking, self repairing and improvement. I need to be more involved and more active in preparing for the afterlife. I am not sure how 2015 going to treat me, but I am very sure that I also going to meet my maker one day.

Have a blessed New Year family and friends, InsyaAllah!

    

S.O.S: A Wet Christmas for Malaysia

Flood in Malaysia is not uncommon. Its a seasonal thing. Malaysian were hit by drought where we have water shortage in a number of places. That usually happens in the month of  March til maybe Jun. Now when everywhere else in the world is having a white Christmas, Malaysia is having a very wet Christmas.

It was reported in the news that, this time around, Malaysia is hit with the worst flood ever. Pictures of buildings swallowed by water filled up my FB timeline for the past week. The photo that affect me the most was pictures of hospitals which are not spared from the flood. I could not imagine the condition the patients, nurses and doctors have to faced when the hospital buildings are being swallowed by water. They said that there is no power and patients who are relying on machines have to be helped manually. SubhanAllah!

God help them. Ease their burden. Aameen

It is sad, watching the news and leaders are saying that "we will helped them"; "helped is on the way"; "I am going to visit them once the weather improve"; "we are doing our best to mobilize asset" yet, they are giving press conference in the comfort of their office. Worst still, some leaders are away on oversea trip, playing golf with Obama, cycling on a mountain ridge in New Zealand with family. To make matters even worst, they blame each other for the flood! How is this helping the flood victims?

The only leader that made the effort to see how the victims are doing in the moment of crisis is the Perak's Sultan, Raja Nazrin. His state was also hit by flood. It is a rare occasion for the state of Perak to be affected but natural disaster happens. This is the time when victims need the support of their elected leaders the most.

I pray that the situation ease up and help could be mobilized to the victims as soon as possible. Let us not forget that this crisis is a test of faith from Allah SWT. Allah is not only testing those who are affected by the flood, but He is testing all of us as His humble servants. Are we just going to sit and watch, crolling our FB page, watching the news at the comfort of our own home whilst our brothers and sisters struggling to save their life? May Allah protect us all and give us the strength and courage to help those in need. Aameen!

For those who would like to help, do read the poster below and give what you can. May Allah blessed all your good deeds and grant you Jannah in the hereafter. InsyaAllah

Facing Up to Fazura

Last weekend I accidentally tuned to E channel and they have Facing Up to Fazura FUTF) on. Well, I am a fan of Fazura. Loved her in Gol and Gincu but I'm not an obsessed type of fan la. Once upon a time I am obsessed with NYSYC. Well, those were the days. 

Back to Fazura, I like her acting in Gol and Gincu. I truly feels as if she is playing herself in the series.A cute and nice type of person. I guess its true. When I watch FUTF, I can see what type of person she is. She is a manja type of person, cute yet she has this mature yet sophisticated beauty to her. I like how she speaks English, so Malaysian, like that! No weird accent, I likey!

I think I watched Ep. 2 of FUTF. It was not as entertaining as KUWTK but it is a decent attempt. It shows another side of Malaysian to the world. A modern upscale young beautiful and sophisticated Malaysian. Well, she could very well be the Malaysian Kimora Lee Simmons!

I did not watch the show till the end tho. Its not that its boring or anything, its just lacked drama. Reality tv is all about the drama in my humble opinion lah. They tried to fill in a bit of drama about Sara Ali and her best fren Vi/Vee who was thrown into the pool during a birthday party, but for me, it was not dramatic enough. It seems scripted (a bit).

Again, good attempt y'all

Almost at the End (of 2014)

Tomorrow is Christmas day. To me, its just another public holiday. Planning to go for a jog with my housemate. Perhaps a picnic too. InsyaAllah. Not sure where yet. Putrajaya maybe. Tasik Cempaka Bangi is too filthy. Bukit Kiara is a bit too far but nice for a morning walk. Will update you on Friday about our plans, insyaAllah.

Anyhow, just reflecting the year which will come to an end soon. 2014 is a bitter sweet year for me. I was tested, rewarded, tested again and again. Alhamdulillah... I am grateful. So grateful as I know, when I am being tested, it simply means that God has not forgotten about me. Allah loves me. All I need to do is love Him back. SubhanAllah...

I felt my highest high when I was at my lowest low. When I was lying on the hospital bed after my emergency operation, it all just hit me. The revelation, the truth slapped me hard. Crying on the bed thanking Allah for His mercy. I was high with gratefulness.

In the hospital, I was tested physically and emotionally. Being a positive minded, I leave the physical recuperation to the Doctors by following their advise and preoccupying my self with knowledge seeking. It was difficult. The most difficult task was to remain patience (sabr).

I am so thankful to be blessed with a supportive family. They sacrifice so much to attend to my every needs and cravings. Allah also blessed me with beautiful friends and sahabah who came to visit me at the hospital. Another test came soon after I was discharge from the hospital. My one and only friend, my closest friend Baiti passed away less than a month after I was discharged.

It was a hard reminder that death will come as promised. You might not reach old age. You might not get marry. You might not do all the things you plan to do.A hard fact indeed. Its difficult to swallow coz its true. So, with that reminder, I need to be prepared for death. I prayed everyday so that I die in Iman. I die during prayer. I die on my way to masjid.

Lately, I also pray for a special someone who could complete my deen. A special someone who could lead me and my family to Jannah. A strong someone for me to lean on. For this, I have to be ready to accept in my life as well. I know for a fact that at this very moment, I am not ready. That is why, he is not in my life yet.

I am praying for a great 2015, insyaAllah. I have 3 Islamic Conferences line up. Alhamdulillah. I am making all this wonderful plans to better equipped my self for the hereafter. May Allah is pleased with my amalan and ibadah. Ameen!  

Problem, A Test of Faith and a Blessing in Disguise

Alhamdulillah. This year, due to Allah's perfect planning, I have moved closer to my office that is in Kajang. SubhanAllah, the transition was smooth and I click with my housemates right away. I often forgot that this is a blessing by Allah to me. Although both pf them are young, we have no problem communicating, cooking, jogging and shopping together. InsyaAllah, we will try to go to jemaah at the nearby masjid together.

The nice and innocent one

The youngest and loudest and happiest one

I was reminded to be grateful of this blessing when I was told a story by my close sahabah during Twins of Faith Conference. This sahabah is around my age. We used to be roommates when we were in UiTM Shah Alam. Although our relationship in UiTM was for a short period of time, alhamdulillah by God's grace and technology, we kept in touch until today.

She is currently living in a rented apartment just like I am with younger females, again, just like me. She is kind hearted and homely. Being a government servant with an important portfolio, she could be strict at times and yet still stay humble. She told me that she is having a huge fight with her housemate and now they are not talking. She said that no matter what the argument is she will be the one to apologize so that they will be no tension around the house.Being older that her housemates, she felt that she deserved to be respected and she has the tendency of lecturing, in a very nice way whenever there are arguments in the house. However, whatever lessons she is trying to convey, fell on deal ears. She said that despite all of her good deeds towards this particular housemate, somehow when they argue, all these good deed she had done, did not seem to matter anymore.

May Allah ease her burden and this was my reply to her. I may have paraphrased here but I said something along these line

"I truly believe that I was here with you as your sahabah attending this conference and loving you for who you are, is for a beneficial purpose. You have something to teach me and I have something to teach you. Believe it or not, I have been in your situation but under even worse circumstances. MasyaAllah. A few months back, I was travelling with a few of my family members. Due to my weak faith, I neglected my obligatory deeds towards Allah SWT. I know that I have sinned but it felt so difficult to perform prayers during the journey. Silently I fought this battle with shaitan and I lost. I did my obligatory deeds half heartedly and my heart felt unsettled. This ultimately change my mood and demeanor all through the journey. I neglected my family members, I kept to my self and ultimately hurts their feelings.A few days after that I received a text from one of my sisters. She said that she was hurt because I neglected her and her kids during the journey. She was so upset that she said she does not want to have anything to do with me anymore. She regretted spending her annual leave taking care of me when I was in the hospital undergoing major surgeries. She further added that I do not deserve to be respected as a big sister and she do not want to know anything about me anymore. My reply to my sister was simple. I tried explaining to her the truth of the matter but fighting shaitan is a bit heavy for her to comprehend as Allah has yet to grant her hidayah on this matter. Nevertheless I told her that I am so sorry that I upset her. I told her that I really really appreciate all her kindness that she showed to me whilst I was in the hospital. As I am only human, I do not have the means to return the favour but I asked Allah to return the favour to her in the form of pahala and Jannah during the hereafter.

After telling my sahabah the story, I told her that everything happened for a reason. The first and most valuable lesson that we can take is sabar, patience. God loves whoever that remain patience when he or she is being tested. Her situation and my situation is a test of faith. Ultimately, He wants us to turn to God for guidance.I told her, do not do any good deeds to be remembered and acknowledge by humans. Do it for the sake of Allah, for pahala. Hopefully the deeds will help during the weighing at masyar. In terms of spreading lessons, I reminded her to our prophet Muhammad SAW. He preached. He is the prophet. Despite all his sacrifice, there are still many who did not turn to Allah. How can we as humans expect that our lecture, teachings or reminders will be remembered and followed by another human? Sabar is the key. We can keep reminding them but hidayah and human hearts is being held in God's hand. It is not your housemates fault that she argues with you. It is a test for you. A sign that Allah loves you. So instead of being sad with the whole situation, be grateful, be happy that Allah is testing you. It means that He has not forgotten you. SubhanAllah

After our heart to heart session, she felt better alhamdulillah. We hugged and said our goodbyes.By God, I truly loves her. When Baiti passed away, this sahabah came back into my life. I thank Allah for His blessings. I pray that our relationship will flourish and pleased Him.

                                      

Sharing of the Day

"Allah loves you before you love Him. For a believer who has not turn to Allah, He creates someone who will love him first so that you will realize through him that Allah loves you and want you to turn to Him"

This is a statement that makes a significant impact on me throughout the Twins of Faith Conference. I could not remember which lecturer that gave this statement. Please forgive me for my forgetful mind. Somehow I feel that I could relate to the statement yet I am too weak to act on it.

I feel that my faith is not strong enough that I am able to make someone to turn to Allah. However, I do pray to Allah that He will guide me to the right path. He shall guide my heart to do the right thing because Allah loves His servants.

I am a believer, alhamdulillah.

MENCARI KEREDHAAN ALLAH

Cuma nak berkongsi sikit apa yang aku dapat masa kat Twins of Faith. 10 perkara ni diberikan semasa sesi konklusi konfrens hari tu. Alhamdulillah, mereka upload pulak dekat facebook Jom sebarkan, insyaAllah.

10 THINGS THAT BRING THE LOVE OF ALLAH

Ibn Qayyim (May Allah have mercy on him) said that there are ten things that bring about the love of Allah.

1) Recitation of the Qur’ an with reflection and with understanding of its meanings.

2) Seeking closeness to Allah by performing voluntary deeds after having performed obligatory ones, for that leads one to the highest levels of love.

3) Remembering Allah during every situation – with one’s time, heart and deeds, one’s share of that love is to the degree of one’s share in that remembrance.

4) Preferring what He loves to what you love when your desires are strong.

5) Allowing your heart to reflect on His Names and Attributes.

6) Reflecting on His many favors and blessings, both the apparent ones and hidden ones, for that leads to His love.

7) Having your heart softened as it is worshipping Allah.

8) Being alone with Him in worship when He descends during the last third of the night. And this means to invoke Him, to recite His Speech, to stand with all sincerity and with good manners and with good submission, and then to end that with repentance and with seeking His forgiveness.

9) Sitting with those who are truthful in their love of Allah.

10) Staying away from all that creates barriers between the heart and Allah.

We ask Allah to grant us His love, and the love of those who love Him and the love of those actions which bring us close to Him

Twins of Faith 2014 - The World of the Unseen (atmosphere in PICC)

Alhamdulillah. I am grateful that I was given the chance to be part of this wonderful conference. This post is written out of the glad feelings i felt and still feel till today from the amazing conference I attended last weekend.

For those who have never heard of Twins of Faith, it is a yearly da'wah conference organized by Mercy Mission Malaysia. Please google Twins of Faith and Mercy Mission for more information. Praise Allah, I felt so much love and peace and gladness through out the conference.

Although some might face parking problems, long Q at the toilets, at the surau, at the cafes etc SubhanAllah, it was not hardship at all. People Q with smiles on their faces. As the surau for the sisters was small, I saw for the first time sisters praying everywhere and felt at ease with the situation. Alhamdulillah as the organizer has warn about the situation during the conference, most participants came well prepared thus in my eyes, everything runs smoothly.

Praise Allah, I was glad to have felt all those nice feelings whilst just being in PICC it self last weekends. Brothers and sisters who participate as students, listening to lectures, brothers and sisters who participates as volunteers ushering guests around the venue, brothers and sisters who mend booths selling books, clothing and representing charity organizations, I pray that we are blessed by Allah's mercy and goodness in the afterlife.

I intends to write a little about the lectures given by all the awesome speakers, insyaAllah. They have touched my heart and reminded me of the purpose of my creation in  this dunya. Alhamdulillah. May Allah guide our hearts to the straight path.

Amen

Coffee Brewing Using French Press aka Plunger

After my dad was diagnose with a  serious heart condition, he had to make a drastic diet change. A dietitian visited him at the hospital and told him about food choices. What is healthy, what is not, etc etc...

She told us that we should substitute coconut milk with low fat milk in your cooking. According to dad, mom's curry made with low fat milk is awesome. The dietitian also asked us to change our cooking oil to olives oil and coconut oil should only be use for frying. Fried food need to be consumed as rarely as possible. Most importantly, we have to control our salt in take. Did you know that a normal healthy person should only consume 2 teaspoon of salt every day?

Apart from the salt in take, the other 1 thing that stuck to my mind like glue is about 3 in 1 drinks. She said those drinks are very bad because of the creamer content. The creamer inside each packet is the source of bad cholesterol. It is quite ok to consume 1 packet per week but if we make it a habit and drink it every day, we could one day get a heart problem.

I used to drink instant coffee all the time. Ipoh old town white coffee was my favourite. The coffee taste was strong yet it is sweet. A mug of that used to keep me awake all night during my Uni days. Used to take it with biskut marie. A great pair those two.

After I was (mis)diagnose with IBS, I stopped taking instant coffee and switch to decaf and mint tea. After the surgery, I start making healthier choices and switch creamer with low fat milk. Nowadays, I brew my own coffee using Bodum french press.

It took me 1 month to master the french press method (its easy really but I'm just slow learner when it comes to these stuff). At first, my coffee was too weak. It seems that I got the measurement (coffee to water) wrong. Once I got the measurement right, the taste was a bit off. It has some sourish taste to it. After a bit of research, I understand that my brewing time was not long enough. So, I read and watch youtube videos and now I get to drink a perfect cup of coffee every morning. I didn't know that stirring the coffee after pouring hot water on it was so important.

I started to brew my own coffee because drinking coffee at a cafe is so costly these days. Yes they make awesome stuff but why pay them when you can make your own and have it anytime you want? A simple latte at the only cafe near my office could cost me RM12 per cup (not mug). They use illy and they taste awesome. Imagine if I take away RM12's latte every morning for a month? Nearly 300 just for coffee?

If you have a french press, you get to brew fresh mug of coffee every morning which could cost RM30 or the most RM90 a month just for the beans. Ok la perhaps you would spend RM150 if you take into account the milk you are using.

Talking about milk, its an important ingredient as well to make a nice cup of latte. I tried Marigold's low fat milk first coz that was the brand I'm used to. I love their strawberry milk, so smooth and yummy but I find there is a distinctive smell to their low fat milk. When you add into your coffee, it could overpower your coffee smell and its not nice.

So now I am using F&N Magnolia low fat milk. No smell. Slightly cheaper than Marigold so, win-win!

Yesterday I went to Dome for iced coffee and I see them using Farmhouse Australia fresh milk. If I'm not mistaken, Chatime also using that milk for their drinks. Slightly pricier but I should give it a try. But then again, its not low fat milk they are using for their drinks. Farmhouse range has low fat and also skim milk, not sure how it would taste tho. Will have to try them out and post a review on them soon.

I am not a serious coffee brewer, I am just a serious coffee drinker. I still go out for coffee once in a while. Just sitting in a quiet cafe, reading Games of Throne and sipping coffee is my guilty pleasure. Happy brewing everyone.