Gratitude List No. 3 for 2020

What is this feeling I have? i feel loved, so much love in my heart. It makes me want to just smile. It is happiness? Is this real happiness that I am feeling? The word happiness seems insufficient to describe this grand feeling I feel. 

What is the English word for "bahagia" other than "happy"? Is it "contented"? I am just grateful for this feelings I have. I am finally contented with my life. I have everything I need and I am sure more is coming as well. I am very grateful for all the gifts I am receiving. All the free times I have which I am using to better my self in all aspects. I just need to remember to recite dzikir alhamdulillah, alhamdullillah, alhamdulliah and hopefully God will let this feelings to remain with me for awhile.

I pray that whatever goodness I do in this life shall grant we huge rewards in the Hereafter. Aameen.

  

Friday

It has been a good week alhamdulillah. I feel like I am doing more at home than I should but I keep doing it coz I know I could and I want all my deeds to be counted in the Hereafter.

I just finished watching a Korean TV Shows "Hye Bye Mama". The story line is pretty straight forward and it serves as a reminder for me that life is indeed very short. You never know when your life would end. You never know if today would be the last day that you talk to the person you love. You never knew if you would get to do all the things that you planned to do.

With that, I feel like it is very important to cherish each any every moment you have with the person you love. Since life is so short, it is important to be happy and make those around us happy to have us in their life. Lastly, this world we now have is a place to collect all your shares for the life in the Hereafter. So, I want to do as much good as I can so that it all be counted for in the Hereafter.

I wonder what kind of mother would I be? I can be very strict with the boys sometimes as I feel like they just don't listen to me sometimes. Maybe that feeling originates from the fact that I am not their real mom. I don't know.

I have yet to see my self as a mother to a baby. Breastfeeding, diaper changing, all of that seems so foreign to me. If God allows me to experience all that, I would be so grateful for the opportunity. 

Possibilities (insyaAllah)

 1. To be a martyr 

2. To be closer to the Creator by performing sunnah prayers and fasting and also reciting Quran

3. To fall in love again

4. To always be grateful for the opportunity

5. To have someone who will pray for me when I'm gone

Gratitude List No. 2 for 2020

Time definitely flew by this year. It seems so long and so short at the same time. During the lockdown period, time seems to pass by so slowly. When the lockdown ended, it is already June. Half of the year had gone by. Now we are already in the month of August (end of August to be exact). I am grateful for the fact that I am still employed. My company offer voluntary separation scheme to 30% of the employees of the whole group. Thank God that my services is still needed.

The world economy is currently not stable but thanks to the moratorium, I have some money set aside as savings and investment. I am grateful to the fact that I am in the process of getting my ducks in a row in case anything bad were to happen to me. 

Honestly, I am currently looking forward to a good news. I have a feeling that I may be pregnant. I am not sure yet as my cycle will be due in 3 days time. I will wait till i past my due  date then only I will do the pregnancy test. Its still too early to tell.

The possibility that I may be carrying a life inside me makes me feel so grateful. For a sinner like me, this opportunity to have 9 months free from menstrual so that i can devote my self to the Creator and spend time making a life is such an honour. I know it is also a risk but if God really gave me the chance, I will try my best to be the best person who carry an innocent life.

To my unborn child.. I pray that you will grow healthy and happy inside me. I pray that you become a pious person, an apple to mommy and daddy's eyes, a bright, happy and healthy child, a useful, knowledgeable and successful Muslim who will always pray for jannah for mommy and daddy and your brothers.

I will give you healthy nutritious food with occasional treats of course. Lots of fruits and veggies and protein. I will also try my best to limit my coffee in take. InsyaAllah