Underlying Cause

When confronting any issues/situation/problems, I have the tendency to look into the underlying cause of whatever issues/situation/problems that I may have. This is some sort of a job requirement because our department needs to provide solution for problems that have yet to surface. Most of the time, we need to expect the worst in any given situation and provide a solution for it even if that worst case scenario may not even happen.

Due to this occupational hazard, i tend to over analyze a lot of things in my life. I questioned every single move that anyone close to me makes every single day. This would include my family members, my colleagues etc.

I find that this over analyzing obsession helps me in certain situation but most of the time it creates a lot of doubts. I will keep on asking questions like, why are they so nice to me? Is it genuine or are they like pretending to be nice to me because .... Or, why is she late today? Is the excuse she is giving is legit? Or is she pretending to be sick bla bla bla..

Sometimes, I even over analyze petty things like certain behaviour of certain social media influncer which have no bearing whatsover in my life. I would have thoughts like, are they really crying coz they are sad or are they doing it for the views and the clicks?

When I am talking to my kids, when my kids present me with a story, I would always analyze every single words they said to me. I analyze their actions as well. I try to figure the intention behind every action and every words. Is this a bad thing to do? They are sweet kids. Always trying to pleased me. But, I am the type of person who will get uncomfortable with praises. Am i wrong to over analyzed these kids?

Gratitude List No. 1 for 2020

Last year, 2019 I only manage to write 1 gratitude list. I wrote another one but it was only in draft form because I started to complain whilst writing the list - which I feel defeat the whole purpose of being grateful. But then again, 2019 was one of the shortest year I ever had due to the circumstances surrounding my life. I have a lot to be grateful for, I am grateful yet I did not have the time to write them all down. I want to be better this year.

Today, I really truly am feeling grateful for what I have today. Alhamdulillah, I had a hectic weekend. On Saturday, Eddy sat for an exam and I had a dinner event. Eddy picked up the kids on Saturday evening and went for a movie. They picked me up at 11 and we went home. Sunday was busy. I was cooking and cleaning after the kids. In the evening, we sent them back to Putrajaya. A few hours later, we received a call from the eldest that they need to stay over till Wednesday. That would mean that I will have my hands full this week.

Last night was probably the last night we could be alone without the kids. My nights these days are filled with endless kissing and love making. I could hardly believe that I get to marry someone who is just as passionate as me. Let's just see what happen tonight. The youngest really love to knock on our doors and sleep with his daddy which totally annoys the heck out of me. I need to find solution for that.

Update:
The kids were great. They slept early. Woke up early and did not knock on our door. Eddy is always forever so helpful. He is just great.

Novel Coronavirus (Covid)

This is the most terrifying news I've read for the past 2 weeks. I am no expert in this area so please read up on novel coronavirus to understand the subject matter.

The virus has been spreading at an alarming rate all over the world and the ground zero is a province in China. This epidemic has led to a total lockdown of Wuhan, where the virus was first identified. The whole thing is complicated by the fact that China can be a very secretive government. The flow of information is being monitored so who is able to verify whether whatever information that is being broadcast is actually accurate.

So now WHO, local governments and even my own company have issued warnings and precautionary measures to follow. As the vaccine has yet to be found and the total death toll has risen to more than 1000 (which is more than SARS), I could only pray for Allah to protect us all.

I still remember the news a few days before coronavirus hits. It was on muslims of  Uyghur which was being oppressed by the China government. There were a lot of news report, statements and videos being published to create awareness on this issue until coronavirus strikes. I pray that Allah protects our Uyghur's brothers and sisters during this trying times.

I do know that everything is God's plans and God's plan is the best as He is the best planner.

2020

It is already the mid of 2nd month of 2020. I have been very slow in updating this blog which actually serves as my journal coz I dont think anybody read it except me.

Anyhow, just a quick recap.

1. I am married! Alhamdulillah.. I like to think that the majlis went well but of course there are dramas as per normal in my family

2. I have moved into my own house last week! Another reason to be super grateful for my life.

3. January was hectic. I was in Penang for work every single week! It was tough on me and Eddy I think. But the long distance makes the reunion so much sweeter.

4. We did manage a quick getaway to Melaka. I was feeling a bit feverish and the trip did made me feel better.

5. Eddy my husband is annoying, helpful, sweet, romantic, annoying and sweet. He has been everything I asked from God and more. Yes, I wrote annoying twice just because I can be easily annoyed by his antics.