Dec 2020

 2020 has been very eventful.

Let's do a quick recap.

January - February, I was busy with the Penang Project. Flying up and down every week. Had to leave my newly married husband. It was tough but the reunion was blissful. We manage to slot in a quick getaway to Malacca on Chinese New Year. Driving our new car and move into our new house! Great start of the year.

March - we manage to run to Langkawi then Koh Lipe for a quick honeymoon. This happened almost a week before the Covid 19 lockdown in Malaysia. Langkawi was almost deserted and Koh Lipe was quieter than usual but we absolutely enjoyed it. Then we had total lockdown (MCO) which start on 18 March 2020. The first 2 weeks was tough. I lost 2 kilos due to stress. The kids were with me so we spent a lot of down time together. I did a lot of cooking and eating and all of us put on a bit of weight. Owh, we had new Prime Minister this month.

April - May - Ramadhan and Syawal with our small family. It was a different experience that's for sure. But with the devil being chained and all, we had an absolute great month. MCO ended on the 1st of May and RMCO kicked in. We get to go back to office and tried to resume activities as per normal but what is normal anyway?

June - Restaurant dine in was finally allowed and it was just in time for my husband's birthday too. Had dinner at Marble 8. Food was wonderful the experience was so-so as they had a/c problem that day. Took the kids back to Kampar 1 weekend. 

July - my family came down for makan-makan. then we get to go home for Raya Haji. Manage to run to Redang prior to that. Everyone has started to go on holidays and Laguna Redang was packed to the brim. With Covid 19 SOPs in placed, the experience is a bit different. Najib loss his 1MDB case

August - New normal begun as the kids went back to school and work resume. 

Sept - Moratorium ended this month. Took the kids to Tioman for Adly's birthday. The kids don't really enjoy the outdoors and Eddy was a bit over protective of the kids.

Nov - Started our health journey together. Decided to get on high vegetables and fruits diet. Loss quite a bit of weight. New cases of Covid is rising every single day but everyone just get on with everyday life as if nothing happened. Schools are close and my office is open from 10 to 2pm as there were increased work place clusters everywhere.

Dec - We are reaching the end. We've been married for almost a year. It has been sweet with a few minor bumps on the road. Planning a short getaway in KL at the end of the month. 

Gratitude List No. 4 of 2020

Being able to go home for and prepare lunch for my husband the past few days has been a blessing. I thank God for guiding my heart to buy a house that is very close to my office.

Whilst I'm thinking of all my blessings of having a house close to office, I cannot help but to reflect on my other half and his everyday situation. My husband had to drive close to an hour everyday to work since  marrying me. This is a huge sacrifice compared to the life he had before marriage. Although he has the option to stay at his house in Putrajaya, but he chose to live with me. He rarely complaints about his situation and how much his salary goes to petrol expanses. May Allah bless him with abundance of rizq in this world and the next. May Allah return all his ihsan towards me in the Hereafter. Ameen

Last week, out of the blue he bought me flowers and have it sent to my office. It was a very nice surprise. However, physically and mentally I was not at my optimum level. I was tired every single day which caused a small argument between the both of us. He handled it very well.. I ended up feeling very bad coz I know, it was me who started the whole thing.

My husband is not perfect but I know he is always trying his best. It makes me wants to give him my very best as well.

 

3rd week of October

This week has been especially hard for me. Physically i feel tired. It probably started off when we decided to go on an eating spree last friday. I probably had indigestion and I was pretty much constipated the whole weekend. 

Monday came, i was feeling a lot better since my motion is normalising but physically, i was still a bit tired. I am taking all my supplements, drinking lots of water, pushing myself to walk on a treadmill for at least 30 mins everyday but my mood was not really improving.

The fact that Selangor, KL and Putrajaya went into CMCO (again) was not helpful as well. Although my schedule was not affected at all, somehow it just put a damp on my mood.

I'm not sure why I feel this tired. I am definitely blaming my diet. Falling off the wagon is no fun!

I need to get back on track

Updates (01/09/2020)

Last week i was high with love and happiness. This week I feel confuse, loss and perhaps a bit dissapointed. Such is life. Nothing stays permanent. Things constantly change. I have faith that it is for the better.

It probably starts yesterday. My menses was late by 1 day so I decided to take the pregnancy test at 3am. We woke up early since my husband was on duty for the Merdeka day in Putrajaya. The result came out negative. I felt disheartened slightly dissapointed. But still positive as I am still spotting and my menses has not started.

At night I feel mild sort of a dull pain on my lower back. Today the pain continues and I notice spots of blood on the toilet tissues. As I thought that I am going to get my period, I put on the menstrual pad instead of the usual panty liner. Now, my tummy feels like its cramping and probably it feels that way coz its shedding all the tissues.  I told my husband and he is worried. So I decided to go to the clinic next week if I still did not get my period by then.

 

 

Gratitude List No. 3 for 2020

What is this feeling I have? i feel loved, so much love in my heart. It makes me want to just smile. It is happiness? Is this real happiness that I am feeling? The word happiness seems insufficient to describe this grand feeling I feel. 

What is the English word for "bahagia" other than "happy"? Is it "contented"? I am just grateful for this feelings I have. I am finally contented with my life. I have everything I need and I am sure more is coming as well. I am very grateful for all the gifts I am receiving. All the free times I have which I am using to better my self in all aspects. I just need to remember to recite dzikir alhamdulillah, alhamdullillah, alhamdulliah and hopefully God will let this feelings to remain with me for awhile.

I pray that whatever goodness I do in this life shall grant we huge rewards in the Hereafter. Aameen.

  

Friday

It has been a good week alhamdulillah. I feel like I am doing more at home than I should but I keep doing it coz I know I could and I want all my deeds to be counted in the Hereafter.

I just finished watching a Korean TV Shows "Hye Bye Mama". The story line is pretty straight forward and it serves as a reminder for me that life is indeed very short. You never know when your life would end. You never know if today would be the last day that you talk to the person you love. You never knew if you would get to do all the things that you planned to do.

With that, I feel like it is very important to cherish each any every moment you have with the person you love. Since life is so short, it is important to be happy and make those around us happy to have us in their life. Lastly, this world we now have is a place to collect all your shares for the life in the Hereafter. So, I want to do as much good as I can so that it all be counted for in the Hereafter.

I wonder what kind of mother would I be? I can be very strict with the boys sometimes as I feel like they just don't listen to me sometimes. Maybe that feeling originates from the fact that I am not their real mom. I don't know.

I have yet to see my self as a mother to a baby. Breastfeeding, diaper changing, all of that seems so foreign to me. If God allows me to experience all that, I would be so grateful for the opportunity. 

Possibilities (insyaAllah)

 1. To be a martyr 

2. To be closer to the Creator by performing sunnah prayers and fasting and also reciting Quran

3. To fall in love again

4. To always be grateful for the opportunity

5. To have someone who will pray for me when I'm gone

Gratitude List No. 2 for 2020

Time definitely flew by this year. It seems so long and so short at the same time. During the lockdown period, time seems to pass by so slowly. When the lockdown ended, it is already June. Half of the year had gone by. Now we are already in the month of August (end of August to be exact). I am grateful for the fact that I am still employed. My company offer voluntary separation scheme to 30% of the employees of the whole group. Thank God that my services is still needed.

The world economy is currently not stable but thanks to the moratorium, I have some money set aside as savings and investment. I am grateful to the fact that I am in the process of getting my ducks in a row in case anything bad were to happen to me. 

Honestly, I am currently looking forward to a good news. I have a feeling that I may be pregnant. I am not sure yet as my cycle will be due in 3 days time. I will wait till i past my due  date then only I will do the pregnancy test. Its still too early to tell.

The possibility that I may be carrying a life inside me makes me feel so grateful. For a sinner like me, this opportunity to have 9 months free from menstrual so that i can devote my self to the Creator and spend time making a life is such an honour. I know it is also a risk but if God really gave me the chance, I will try my best to be the best person who carry an innocent life.

To my unborn child.. I pray that you will grow healthy and happy inside me. I pray that you become a pious person, an apple to mommy and daddy's eyes, a bright, happy and healthy child, a useful, knowledgeable and successful Muslim who will always pray for jannah for mommy and daddy and your brothers.

I will give you healthy nutritious food with occasional treats of course. Lots of fruits and veggies and protein. I will also try my best to limit my coffee in take. InsyaAllah

Married Life

Its been almost 6 months since our marriage ceremony. It seems like such a short span of time but I feel like we have gone through a lot. We have experienced so much and it has certainly been an adventure. Let's do a quick recap.

We were married at the end of December 2019. We took some time out to celebrate our wedding, spent some times with the kids in Lumut and KL just sightseeing and then we are back to our routine. I was busy for the whole month of January and February. Yet we manage to get a quick getaway to Melaka during Chinese New Year and a quick islands getaway in mid march. That was at the onset of Covid 19 outbreak. 

After we finished our short island honeymoon,  it was school holidays and the kids spent time with us. A few days into the school holiday Malaysia was ordered to quarantine for almost 3 months due to Covid 19. During the lockdown, I became a full time housewife and mommy with office work on the side since we get to work from home. The quarantine/lockdown was just lifted 3 days ago and the new normal begins.

Back to the topic, married life. There are some nights that my mind just stop and wonder, is this for real? There is a man sleeping besides me whom I call him husband. Who is sharing every part of my life. It was just last year I pray to be married to someone who can complete me. Now here I am. Feeling complete.

So Ramadhan this year was different but it was fulfilling. I get to cook for the whole family. Observe the kids growing. My prayers are all for our well-being, increase in imaan, and jannah.

I feel like the both of us has a long way to go. At the same time, I am scared if I dont really have a lot of time in this world to do it all with him. I am taking one step at a time. Hopefully I am going to the right direction.

Cemburu

Perasaan yang negetif

Tapi bisa bertukar positif

Hanya perlu pemikiran kreatif

Bila dilihat media sosial mereka

Penuh gambar-gambar

Setiap kelebihan terpancar

Kadang buat hati kecil gusar

Membanding kehidupan sendiri yang nampak hambar

Cemburulah pada mereka yang tidak punya apa

Tapi masih tersenyum gembira

Cemburulah pada mereka yang berduka

Menempuh dugaan penuh sabar

Cemburulah pada mereka yang serba kurang

Menghulurkan bantuan tak kira jurang

Cemburulah pada mereka yang sentiasa sibuk

Berusaha cari redha Al-Mulk

Viral Trends in Malaysia During Lockdown

Here in Malaysia, we are finishing phase 4 of the lockdown (MCO). Many companies has start to work from office again. My company is maintaining social distancing and operate on 50% capacity from the office. the other 50% are working from home.

Throughout the lockdown, we came across many viral trends. Since most people are bored and spent a lot of time on social media, these viral trends really take off.

1. Dalgona Coffee

This was amongst the earliest trend the sweep through Malaysia and apparently the entire world. Since its coffee related and we can drink coffee all day and night during lockdown (coz who need sleep right?), it makes perfect sense why this one was such a big hit. It is really really easy to make too. You can click here if you still have yet to jump on the bandwagon - How to Make Dalgona Coffee

2. Homemade Donut

Eating donut and sipping coffee at the comfort of your own house is just so blissful right? So yeah. This is another viral thing. People now has the time to try something slightly complicated like donuts. I did too after my husband bought me a stand mixer. Who knew, stand mixers and flour could be such a hit during lockdown in Malaysia

3. Other baking/dessert recipes

Owh yeah. Since we spent half of Ramadhan at home, meaning no bazaar Ramadhan, we now have to make our own sweets for berbuka. I tried lots of recipes. Some of which I shared in my previous post.

4. Gardening

I think this one could be rather new and on a down low coz not many people has a plot of land to work on or a huge space to store all their plants and trees and whatnot. But yeah, I think this trend is gaining momentum in recent days. There are those who shared sellers that actually ship life plants all over Malaysia. Somehow, I am on that bandwagon since last week. Been trying to grow my own onion plants but I dont have soil yet. I'm buying a few stuff and hopefully I can built my own garden soon.

5. Uploading tones of food pics

Since everyone had to cook their own food or order from food delivery, everyone's cooking skills improved tremendously. People are counting days by sharing their homecook meals and recipes. Some become and overnight sensation since they posted videos of their cooking on Youtube. I only post food pics during Ramadhan coz only then I am hype enough to try new recipes and cook nice things.

Hopefully, all these new found hobby and interest last even after this lockdown is over.

Recipes I love

Since I was stuck at home with my husband and 2 kids for more than months, I got the chance to try so many recipes. Cooking for people who loves to eat is such a blessing. I thought of writing down all the recipes I love so that it is easier for me to refer but who writes offline anymore? I dont really measure my ingredients most of the time. So all the measurements written are just guidance

Here goes:

1. Bengkang Mak

2 cawan tepung gandum 1 cawan gula pasir 1 cawan air

pewarna hijau

perisa pandan 3 cawan santan 2 biji telur 1/2 sudu kecil garam 

minyak masak

2. Kueh Ketayap

1 1/2 cawan Santan

1 cawan tepung gandum

2 biji telur

minyak masak

garam

Inti

Cairkan gula merah dengan air dalam kuali. capur gula kasar and daun pandan. Bila dah cair masukkan kelapa. Bila almost kering, masukkan tepung gandum 1 sudu

Kueh bom inti kelapa - macam mochi actually

2 cawan tepung pulut

1/2 cawan tepung gandum

garam

air suam

bijan

mix everything together. uli. isi inti kelapa. then goreng

Travel Recapped

We just got back from our trip to Langkawi and Koh Lipe. It was supposed to be our honeymoon but since I got my period 2 days before the trip, the whole trip was more like a trip with you super best friend.

We spent sometime in Langkawi and then 1 night in Koh Lipe before going back home through Langkawi. Since we are travelling in the middle of Covid 19 outbreak, there was no long Q anywhere. Koh Lipe was somewhat quieter even though it is on high season.

We did enjoy ourselves nonetheless. Swimming and snorkeling. Walking by the beach. Drinking coffee, eating ice creams. It was fun but like all every other trips, its tiring.

When we got back to Langkawi from Koh Lipe, we are so ready to go home. 4 nights is just nice for us. We get to do a bit of everything. He indulged me with everything I wanted and we also has started planning our next trip.

He wants to travel again in June which is his birthday month and also Raya month. Not too sure if it is the best time to travel but that is his plan. If we are to bring the kids with us, it has to be somewhere nearby. I am thinking of Redang or Tioman island. It has to be a resort so that the kids will not be too bored.

Laguna is the only nice resort in Redang whilst Berjaya would be the one for Tioman. But with all these covid 19 cases, we are not sure if it is advisable to even go to work or school now.

Underlying Cause

When confronting any issues/situation/problems, I have the tendency to look into the underlying cause of whatever issues/situation/problems that I may have. This is some sort of a job requirement because our department needs to provide solution for problems that have yet to surface. Most of the time, we need to expect the worst in any given situation and provide a solution for it even if that worst case scenario may not even happen.

Due to this occupational hazard, i tend to over analyze a lot of things in my life. I questioned every single move that anyone close to me makes every single day. This would include my family members, my colleagues etc.

I find that this over analyzing obsession helps me in certain situation but most of the time it creates a lot of doubts. I will keep on asking questions like, why are they so nice to me? Is it genuine or are they like pretending to be nice to me because .... Or, why is she late today? Is the excuse she is giving is legit? Or is she pretending to be sick bla bla bla..

Sometimes, I even over analyze petty things like certain behaviour of certain social media influncer which have no bearing whatsover in my life. I would have thoughts like, are they really crying coz they are sad or are they doing it for the views and the clicks?

When I am talking to my kids, when my kids present me with a story, I would always analyze every single words they said to me. I analyze their actions as well. I try to figure the intention behind every action and every words. Is this a bad thing to do? They are sweet kids. Always trying to pleased me. But, I am the type of person who will get uncomfortable with praises. Am i wrong to over analyzed these kids?

Gratitude List No. 1 for 2020

Last year, 2019 I only manage to write 1 gratitude list. I wrote another one but it was only in draft form because I started to complain whilst writing the list - which I feel defeat the whole purpose of being grateful. But then again, 2019 was one of the shortest year I ever had due to the circumstances surrounding my life. I have a lot to be grateful for, I am grateful yet I did not have the time to write them all down. I want to be better this year.

Today, I really truly am feeling grateful for what I have today. Alhamdulillah, I had a hectic weekend. On Saturday, Eddy sat for an exam and I had a dinner event. Eddy picked up the kids on Saturday evening and went for a movie. They picked me up at 11 and we went home. Sunday was busy. I was cooking and cleaning after the kids. In the evening, we sent them back to Putrajaya. A few hours later, we received a call from the eldest that they need to stay over till Wednesday. That would mean that I will have my hands full this week.

Last night was probably the last night we could be alone without the kids. My nights these days are filled with endless kissing and love making. I could hardly believe that I get to marry someone who is just as passionate as me. Let's just see what happen tonight. The youngest really love to knock on our doors and sleep with his daddy which totally annoys the heck out of me. I need to find solution for that.

Update:
The kids were great. They slept early. Woke up early and did not knock on our door. Eddy is always forever so helpful. He is just great.

Novel Coronavirus (Covid)

This is the most terrifying news I've read for the past 2 weeks. I am no expert in this area so please read up on novel coronavirus to understand the subject matter.

The virus has been spreading at an alarming rate all over the world and the ground zero is a province in China. This epidemic has led to a total lockdown of Wuhan, where the virus was first identified. The whole thing is complicated by the fact that China can be a very secretive government. The flow of information is being monitored so who is able to verify whether whatever information that is being broadcast is actually accurate.

So now WHO, local governments and even my own company have issued warnings and precautionary measures to follow. As the vaccine has yet to be found and the total death toll has risen to more than 1000 (which is more than SARS), I could only pray for Allah to protect us all.

I still remember the news a few days before coronavirus hits. It was on muslims of  Uyghur which was being oppressed by the China government. There were a lot of news report, statements and videos being published to create awareness on this issue until coronavirus strikes. I pray that Allah protects our Uyghur's brothers and sisters during this trying times.

I do know that everything is God's plans and God's plan is the best as He is the best planner.

2020

It is already the mid of 2nd month of 2020. I have been very slow in updating this blog which actually serves as my journal coz I dont think anybody read it except me.

Anyhow, just a quick recap.

1. I am married! Alhamdulillah.. I like to think that the majlis went well but of course there are dramas as per normal in my family

2. I have moved into my own house last week! Another reason to be super grateful for my life.

3. January was hectic. I was in Penang for work every single week! It was tough on me and Eddy I think. But the long distance makes the reunion so much sweeter.

4. We did manage a quick getaway to Melaka. I was feeling a bit feverish and the trip did made me feel better.

5. Eddy my husband is annoying, helpful, sweet, romantic, annoying and sweet. He has been everything I asked from God and more. Yes, I wrote annoying twice just because I can be easily annoyed by his antics.