Gratitude List No.14 - Dreams Do Come True

Read an article today about Tony Fernandez, the Founder of Air Asia. He was in the music industry when he decided to buy Air Asia and turn it into the best low cost airlines in Asia. He also dream of it and work hard for it.

I have to spend more time dreaming. Focusing on what I want in my life. Giving energized thoughts to only those that matters to my life right now.

I want to be in love again. To be loved by someone who love me as much as I love him. To be able to share stories, laughter, ideas, ambitions and time. Spending time with those who love you is the best feeling in the world. You don't have to do much, just to be with each other, that is enough to make your heart flutter and smile in bliss. I am not asking for much. Just someone who appreciate me and care for me as much as I appreciate them.

I want to travel again. Tickets to Amsterdam and London has been pretty affordable through out the year. With RM3,000 you get a return ticket. I am planning to fill my 2018 with a few trips. Amsterdam and London is high on my list.

I want to have a toned and fit body. Consistently working out have proven fruitful. I have shed some serious weight and all I need to do is keep it up for another month so that it is in my routine. Still aiming for six pack. The journey has been awesome. Looking at my body each and everyday and seeing how it has changed is just awesome.

Sweet Dream

Been having sweet dreams and it seems that this dream repeat it self every week. I am crushing so hard on the actor of Chicago Fire, Jesse Spencer. That eyes. That face. What does this type of dreams even mean?

Its not like i was watching the series before I fell asleep. So to be thinking of him even when I did not watch the series is just weird. But anyhow, I really enjoyed the nice warm feelings even though it was just a temporary feelings.

Gratitude List No. 13 - Stronger

I am learning to take better care of my self. Putting my need first. Making my self happier. Learning to say no.

Over the weekend, my other half asked for a small loan. It is truly a small loan. But I feel like in order to help him, I need to teach him to stand on his own feet. Quit asking for favours, begging for loans. It is so unbecoming. I really loves helping out but I just don't want this to become a habit as this really is a bad habit.

Let's move on to a brighter topic. I had a nice weekend. A balance one. Spent time with my nephews. Took them to see Thor Ragnarok. Its an awesome movie. We all had a good time. After half a day with them, I get to rest. Did a bit of grocery shopping and chatting with a friend till midnight. Went home to do a Harry Potter marathon, woke up late on Sunday. Do a bit of housekeeping and preparing for weekdays. Basically, lots of rest.

Today is Monday. As usual, it always starts with a bang. I am pretty immune to it already. So, now looking forward to weekend again. Probably gonna go back to visit my parents. Take them to a nice dinner perhaps.

Gratitude List No. 12 - Resilience

Yesterday was pretty hard. Luckily I had a relaxing weekend. I went home yesterday and completely reset my mind. To me, today is a new day and I decided last night that I am going to have a good day today. 

I just realised that my mind and body is so used to a 7 hours sleep every night. I will automatically wake up after 7 hours of sleep no matter what day it is. For the past week, I woke up without my alarm. I am glad that I feel so restful at night and energize in the morning.

I get to prepare lunch. Yesterday was chicken salad and today was tuna pasta. I still have left over for tonite. 

Pay day is just around the corner. Looking forward to that as well. Maybe another relaxing weekend? I did not do much last weekend. Went out for breakfast on Saturday. Just loitering at the mall since the sun was so hot. Did a bit of reading and writing. Spending time with  my self and people watching. Probably going to do the same this weekend. 

Need to attend to my budget. Car insurance renewal and road tax is expiring. That is not fun but I am grateful that I can manage my own expenses.

Gratitude List No.11 - Living in The Now

Had an awesome day off yesterday. I just realized that when you really make use of your time, you feel like you have so much time when in actual fact its just the usual 24 hours.

I get to do laundry, wake up a bit later than usual, had brunch, went to a cafe for coffee and read and then hit the gym for 1 hour to just sweat. When I got back from gym, i get to prepare my own meal and just chill in front of the tv. A get to retire to bed earlier than normal, get my 8 hour sleep with the help of sleep hypnosis and woke up feeling recharge!

So today is Thursday. Work is flowing as per normal. Had an awesome lunch with colleague, had a friendly banter with my other half and just finish planning for a night out watching movie with one of my colleague.

The topic living in the now is a popular self help topic. I don't really understand it until I had this conversation a moment ago with my colleague. I told her about how my day went yesterday and I feel so satisfied. She is the type of person who worries a lot and spend her Saturday night worrying that weekend is ending and Monday is coming.  I told her that if you want to feel that you have so much time on your hand, go do stuff. She has a different opinion on that regards. According to her, if she spend her day doing things, the day will just flew by and she doesn't get to savour the moment. She would just rather sit and look at the clock knowing that she has all day of not working so that she can fully prepare herself for the work that is coming the next day.

I disagree with how she does things and we agree to disagree because she prefers it that way. I would think that she wasted her time worrying about the next day. She should have just enjoyed the off day by doing all the things she loves doing. That is how you really utilized the time given to you.

I am blessed that I have this knowledge. Wish I could persuade her to agree with me. Slowly...

Gratitude List No. 10 - Public Holiday in Malaysia

Malaysians are just blessed. Due to our diversity and respect to every race and religions in this country, we are rewarded with various public holidays. Tomorrow is Deepavali. A festival of light celebrate by our Indian community. Tomorrow is Wednesday, hump day some called it. Its a good day to just have a break from work and recharge.

I just made plan with a friend to go out for breakfast. Just need to be around people so that I don't feel as if I am wasting my public holiday doing nothing. Maybe I can do a bit of reading as well. Since gadget is around, all information is within your fingertips. But we don't really learn anything from such information. We just search the info for info purposes not for knowledge. It can be changed. Just read as we used to do before there were mobile phones.

Already going off topic... Anyhow, I am going to enjoy my off day. Its going to be epic. I am going to savour each moment and utilized each moment properly so that I will look forward to finish off the week with energy and happiness.

Gratitude List No. 9 - Productiveness

I am so happy and grateful now that I had a very productive week. I get to go to the gym and workout. I manage to complete my assignments on time. I got to keep my positive attitude through out the week. I managed my stress effectively. I got time to unwind and cook at home. It has been a really really good week and I am so happy and grateful for it.

Now that the weekend is coming, i am looking forward to a lot of relaxation, a lot of reading, a lot of sleep and may be some exercise and social time with some friends. Thank you for this blessing, for this peace i feel in me.

Gratitude List No. 8 - Peace

We have a bit of a breather today. I am so grateful for that. I get to have my coffee and breakfast in peace without any anxiety. Planning to catch a movie with a colleague tomorrow and perhaps hit the gym again today.

I feel so different since I changed my mindset. Always have a positive attitude. Being grateful for everything I have and everything I am going to receive. had a good chat with my other half today. It was nice to see his face. But he looks a bit different. Probably because he was not feeling well. His living situation at his own house does not look good. he can improve it if he wants but knowing him (he is somewhat like me) he would just make do with whatever he has.

I am so happy and grateful for this peaceful feeling I have in my heart. I have this little joy in my heart that I know will grow in time. The world is bright and colourful again.

Gratitude List No. 7 - TGIF

It has been a trying week. Like seriously. I almost burst into tears whilst doing grocery shopping on Monday. I felt overwhelm with the stress and the whole situation about my other half being so far away.

Nevertheless, the week ends on a high note. I get to finish all my pending work and cleared my work checklist on Thursday. So today I get to just relax my mind a little bit. My sister is coming over this weekend so planning to spend some time with her. So, I have the whole night and tomorrow morning by my self. I plan to have a quiet night at home and tomorrow I need to run some errands. I hope to get what I need tomorrow at the hospital.

Lets get start the weekend people and have a good one!

Gratitude List No.6 (Not Really)

Yesterday was my first year anniversary with the company. I am pretty proud. It has been a trying year. Truly but I manage to overcome all the obstacles and persevere.

I still have a long way to go. My initial plan was to gain at least 2 years experience with the company. I am half way there. With each passing day, I know that I grow harder but I am second guessing my self so many times these days. I am seriously thinking of finding a greener pasture. I need to do serious thinking on this subject.

I dont feel like I am wasting my time. Its just that I feel that I am subjecting my self to unnecessary stress every single day. I shouldn't be complaining in this list. I am grateful that I am learning so much (i think i am learning). Until I am able to apply all that I have learn, I don't think I have learn much at all.

What do I look forward to everyday? Being able to go home at the end of each work days, satisfied with the job I did that day. Nowadays, I bring work home with me. I bring worries.

My superior is tolerable. A nice person. Its just that sometimes, I feel really really inferior. I know I can handle this but for what??? If there is another company that is going to offer me much more and less stress and worry, really, there is nothing holding me back except for the fact that working in  a big public listed company sounds so glamorous. Glamour does not make  me happy so, it really is not important right?

I am really grateful for the opportunity to gain experience here. I have been exposed to so many things. I do hope that these experience can be applied else where.

My Life Purpose

I had a fulfilling weekend whereby I spent most of my time watching TedEx talks. They are amazing and I am feeling inspired by the speakers.  Despite what I've just said, I also had a minor melt down yesterday and I am keen to blame my hormones for the meltdown. However, after watching several TedEx talks, I arrive to a conclusion that I basically feel rather loss after my boyfriend decides to went back to KK because I lost my purpose.

It has always been my purpose to help him grow and survive here. Helping him in anywhere I can, contributing whenever I can, gave me purpose. That makes me happy. Since he decided to leave, I felt that I am serving no other purpose in my life. Apart from my family and my work which has always been there.

I clearly remembered how happy I was when he got accepted to the aviation program. The advice I gave and everything I contributed lead him on his career path in aviation. I was part of his journey, his struggles. I didn't know that by being with him on that journey, gave me happiness. I didnt know by helping him, it made me happy and gave me purpose.

Now that I lost that purpose and understand what it does in my life, gave me a different idea. I should widen my purpose. I am only giving to him just 1 person. What if I get to give to more than 1 person? What if I can inspire and guide more than 1 person.

Following from this, I intend to joint the gamuda toastmasters. I am very keen to get more serious in public speaking to see whether this could lead me to another career perhaps as I've been told many times that I have this gift in persuasive speech.

May God guide me and grant me ease.